I'm so concealed! Tales of the upscale market.

Glenn E. Meyer

New member
So off I go to the upscale market. I'm discretely dressed with a Glock and extra mag on my belt but covered with a classy LLBean light weight shirt. Nice slacks. Yes, I have a knife clip on my pocket but the shirt probably swings in front of it.

Let's look at the organic vegetables. Why, there is a portly gentleman with a less than stellar physique (not that I do anymore) wearing a very tight t-shirt with Glock in large logo letter in the front. He's wearing shorts and there's a knife clip. Where's the gun, I think? So, I stealthily circle the melons and see on his hip a big black box thing with a flap. Aha! That's the concealed holster. Flip the top and out will pop his Glock. Looked about G19 size.

Seen such things advertised. Now, in the upscale market - there is probably little risk of a grab. He could stroll through the crowd looking like Combat Carl. I wonder if such a set up would be advised in a crowded venue of less reputable people. Would you wear it on a subway train - cheek to jowl?

I'm sure the guy feels like a steely eyed dealer of death. I was tempted to say - nice way to advertise free gun to anyone with the motivation and brains to approach you. I know other markets in San Antonio where the youth would be amused.

I looked so innocuous that a nice older woman stopped me in the magazine ( to read) section to ask about the latest issue of the New Yorker (that's an intellectual magazine above the gun mag row). Not that I don't project alertness and confidence.

Probably he will OC, when legal, on the way to examine the cheese. Probably doesn't even know the difference between Frommage de Meaux and Brie de Meaux. :D
 

rickyrick

New member
I see lots of those types, especially since I moved to Washington. Still had some in Texas. Not to stereotype, but it is the portly fellows. I can say portly because my physique has slipped as well, lol.

Seems that many people want their gun known to the public. I've watched as many a fellow proudly present their CHL as a form of ID when their DL is available. Even stating "here's my handgun license"

I've seen open carriers that I could easily snatch the pistol from them; of I were criminally inclined.

We've discussed things like this, I don't want anyone to know that I'm toting around $1000.00 in hardware.

Also cracks me up to see guys wearing the tactical desert scarf on a mild Pacific Northwest afternoon...

To each his or her own I say, but it is also my right to secretly inner laugh at them.
 
Hey now. Imagine this scenario: a gang of ex-Stasi guys leaves the GDR after the fall of the Iron Curtain. They make their way to the US working as private mercenaries. But like everyone else, they're hurt by the economic downturn.

So, they have to feed their hunger for organic kumquats and walnut-dusted grape smoothies by shoplifting. A sales clerk tries to stop them, they over-react, and it turns into a high-intensity tactical intervention. Charlie Foxtrot!

Who's the marmot, and who's the fainting goat? I don't know! I was just looking for some coffee without all the oppression, man. Now there's a bunch of guys with guns yelling things like "Schild und Schwert!" and singing Wagner. I don't need that. His operas went on for, like, 18 hours.

Somebody has to protect me. As we all know, when seconds count, we don't count our (organic) chickens. I need Combat Carl. Once he figures out how to get the gimmick holster open and pulls the gun past his spare tire, he'll...

Oh. Well. He just stood there and got shot. I guess Carl didn't get any sort of decent training. If he had, he probably would have used a more practical rig.

And on double-coupon Monday, no less.
 

KMAX

New member
Great story. There's nothing more entertaining than ridiculing other people. Let's hear more.
 

tirod

Moderator
Ridicule is what American's do best now.

Like, the French.

We seem to be getting the same international combat rep. No clearcut wins for a long time.

Obviously we need more ridicule. Lets start talking about 5.11 stormtroopers showing up at the range and blasting 300 rounds into a target with no apparent self discipline to aim their fire.

Or stories about working the range on the weekend and some scruffy guy brings in an AR pistol to shoot. AN AR PISTOL, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Doesn't he know the ATF banned those? Idiot. Relate your intimidating and snarky dialogue escorting him off the range.

Oh yeah, bring more snark. It's what Americans do best. We need to let others know we aren't going to tolerate their choices in how they dress or carry - only the upper class should make those decisions and obviously Mr. Portly needs to be properly educated on how to Dress for Success in Concealed Carry.

Look forward to an autographed copy.

As for New Yorker magazine, In thought people who read that are the ones to throw MSR owner's under the bus anytime there is a caterwaul to cover up a failure in the NICS system.

Enjoy your brie. Don't forget the appropriate wine.
 

doofus47

New member
Glenn E Meyer
So, I stealthily circle the melons and see on his hip a big black box thing with a flap. Aha! That's the concealed holster. Flip the top and out will pop his Glock. Looked about G19 size.

That was my diversion. I was ankle carrying...
and STOP looking at my melons!!!!

:)
 
I've seen the ads for those things. First time I saw one in person I recognized it immediately. This was at Whittington Center so it came as no surprise and caused no alarm that someone was exercising their 2A. We instructors all open carried anyway (except for the archery instructor because it got in his way).

Anyone else remember the late '70s with those calculator pouches that could be worn on the belt?:D
 

Glenn E. Meyer

New member
While the box might not be a clue, the big ol' tight Glock logo across the belly is an indicator.

As far ridicule, if you dress like a doofus, it's not a 2nd Amend. issue - it's looking like a doofus. Feel free to do that.
 

rickyrick

New member
We all dress like doofuses to someone lol. No matter what attire you choose, it will be in poor taste to some else or comical.

But, we all know the guys that want others to think they have some tactical prowess. Like they're some off duty tactical instructor, or a one man swat team out for a sandwich.
Same phenomenon happens with the cowboy without a horse.
The biker without a bike.
The ranger without a battalion.
The train engineer?? That one boggles me
The college professor feeding pigeons.
Or the modern day gunslinger.

Many people develop a costume or a uniform as we age.
 

KMAX

New member
The biker without a bike.

I haven't owned a Harley in over 20 years yet people keep giving me Harley/biker tee shirts. I wear them to be polite. I wish they would give me L.L. Bean shirts. I would wear them politely as well. I occasionally see guys lugging side packs/ battle bags around Wal-Mart. Seems like a dead giveaway for concealed firearm. I have a similar pack that I use when I go out hiking, which is rare, for carrying water, food, first aid kit, etc. and sometimes firearm depending on where I am.
 
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Koda94

New member
you should have casually sauntered up to him and complimented him on his holster and asked how he likes it....
bonus points if your a loud talker....
 

rickyrick

New member
I guess if I'm wearing one of my Noveske t-shirts I must be concealing an AR-15 somewhere on my person.
No, but someone now knows who to follow to their house in hopes of stealing an AR and other goodies.
 

thump_rrr

New member
No, but someone now knows who to follow to their house in hopes of stealing an AR and other goodies.
Then we should all dress like crap and drive crappy cars so that we don't get followed home.:(
 
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