I also carry a pf-9 and have had no problems with it . It will make anyone a great carry gun with mid to smaller hands but it does carry what can be a higher recoiling gun for its wieght. So let your wife deside not you. Take her to a indoor range and see what they have to rent and maybe even a customers gun to try. I am always swapping handguns with others to try out. Just let her deside. My other CC gun is a charter arms ultra lite at 130z, now my wife would rather shoot it than a old taurus model 85 i carried for years with a nice soft rubber grip and action job and it is a 21oz gun of the same size but with a different grip angle. I can't feel the differnce but she can and likes the lite wieght, go figure..