If Chuck Norris Owned a Gun....

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kristop64089

New member
He would carry each of the 16" guns from the Mighty MO( 1 in each hand)

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door


Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
 
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ConcealCarryNY

New member
Ummm hello anyone seen Invasion USA? Chuck Norris carries the double mini uzi's (I think thats what they were) in the shoulder rig so he would retain them when he had to take a break from firing to whip some ass
 
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FirstFreedom

Moderator
Jeez, I love his "World Combat League". :) Chuck Norris did own a gun...a nickel Beretta 92 carried in a yaqui belt-slide to show it off .. well, ok, Walker owned a gun.

If Chuck Norris were to think about a bullet and fart while looking at you, it would blow your head and arms off.
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LMAO! :D
 
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Shane Tuttle

Staff
Chuck Norris interviewed for the show "24" and didn't get the part. He asked the castin director "why not?".

"Because, Mr. Norris, you'd kick the terrorists a$$es in 24 MINUTES. That doesn't give us a chance to build plot, more less a series, now does it?"
 
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applesanity

New member
C'mon you guys. I really don't want the admins to close this thread due to lack of relevancy. We should talk about Chuck Norrus AND guns.

Every Tuesday night, Chuck Norris loads 6 hollowpoint .500 S&W rounds into his trusty revolver and plays Russian Roulette with himself - and wins.
 
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CobrayCommando

Moderator
Every Tuesday night, Chuck Norris loads 6 hollowpoint .500 S&W rounds into his trusty revolver and plays Russian Roulette with himself - and wins.
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Haha... After ensnaring his enemies, he convinces them to play russian roulette with a loaded Glock rather then face him in martial combat.
 
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tegemu

New member
He may own some guns but he doesn't know how to hold one. In the ad for his show he is shown holding a semi-auto with such a firm grip that the axis of the gun points to the right at a slight angle, a very common neophyte mistake.
 
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1BadF350

New member
He may own some guns but he doesn't know how to hold one. In the ad for his show he is shown holding a semi-auto with such a firm grip that the axis of the gun points to the right at a slight angle, a very common neophyte mistake.
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It's not a mistake. The gun, fearing for its life, is attempting escape from Chuck's death grip. It turned up missing after the photo shoot. Later that day a mangled **** covered piece of metal found lodged in a mens room toilet was identified as the missing weapon. Tooth impressions in the metal were later linked to those of one Chuck Norris. Norris later admitted that he "needed a snack", but the vending machine was out of order due to sustaining a roundhose kick. Norris admittedly kicked the machine for demanding exact change.
Not wanting to leave the set for a bite to eat, Mr. Norris ate the gun. The next day he crapped it out and clogged the toilet. finding the situation very amusing, Norris told the maintenace crew to "just deal with it."
 
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Hedley

New member
It's not a mistake. The gun, fearing for its life, is attempting escape from Chuck's death grip. It turned up missing after the photo shoot. Later that day a mangled **** covered piece of metal found lodged in a mens room toilet was identified as the missing weapon. Tooth impressions in the metal were later linked to those of one Chuck Norris. Norris later admitted that he "needed a snack", but the vending machine was out of order due to sustaining a roundhose kick. Norris admittedly kicked the machine for demanding exact change.
Not wanting to leave the set for a bite to eat, Mr. Norris ate the gun. The next day he crapped it out and clogged the toilet. finding the situation very amusing, Norris told the maintenace crew to "just deal with it."
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You owe me a new keyboard.
 
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BillCA

New member
This is easily my favorite...

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of
the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. :D

Defend against Chuck Norris? Hmmmm...
First, BBQ several large, juicy porterhouse steaks over a hickory fire.
Whip up a large bowl of potato salad.
Cook up some corn on the cob
Add a side dish of green beans with slivered almonds
Keep several brands of beer and some good red wines to offer.
Have a large, fresh apple pie for dessert.

When Chuck arrives, tell him that he's just in time for dinner. Invite him to sit down, ask if he wants beer, wine, a scotch or coffee with dinner. Treat him to elegant southern hospitality, especially if you can find a beautiful woman to help out. He's enough of a gentleman that he won't refuse a lady's insistence that he enjoy a meal first.

Serve dinner, enjoy.

After dinner, offer him a glass of cognac and a cigar. Let the lady light it for him. After a few sips, signal the lady who then opens a door to let in...

Every TFL member who's a Chuck Norris fan!

While he's greeted by his mob of fans, slip quietly out the back door and board a plane for Abu Dabi. :D
 
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jfrey123

New member
While he's greeted by his mob of fans, slip quietly out the back door and board a plane for Abu Dabi.
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That would make a good attempt at evading him... I fear he would be waiting for you when you landed though: with your wife as his own, 2 kids who kinda look like her, and a hot apple punch to your face.

However, getting back to the thread's original question, if Chuck Norris owned a gun, it would be yours after you tried and failed to shoot him in self defense. And it would be very painful when he took it.
 
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