If Chuck Norris Owned a Gun....

R

Rangefinder

New member
Hypothetically speaking only... :D
With a little time, tools, and a reliable steel billet to machine from, I could make one... I just may have a new little project....to draw onto paper only, of course ;)
 
J

jfrey123

New member
+1 on Norris not needing a gun...

He merely looks at a bullet and it will shoot itself at whatever he desires, with perfect accuracy.


But even then, this is a guy who is so fast he can run around the earth and kick himself in the rear end... He doesn't need a gun. :eek:
 
A

applesanity

New member
Okay, then new angle: what if Chuck Norris was after you? I mean, he's after all of us and our brothers, but let's say you had enough time to prepare. What would you arm yourself with? Keep in mind,

  • He's lightning quick. You'll need something that'll be quick to aim and bear.
  • He's like class CXP19 game. You might need something with a lot of kick.
  • He'll charge you. You want to hit him from a distance. That's if you can spot him.
  • You might have to engage him from multiple locations, so your own mobility is key.
  • He might stop the bullet with a roundhouse kick.
  • He never sleeps. He waits.

Personally I would arm myself with a Charles Bronson, from back in his Death Wish III days.
 
T

TheBluesMan

Moderator Emeritus
Applesanity - jfrey123 - Great posts! I'm cracking up here. :D

And I am prepared, Applesanity. He has been coming for me for a long time, but I am fully prepared to defeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddfvcvvvv bvbbbbbn n nnn nnnnnn .
 
R

Rangefinder

New member
I must be among a few strangely uninformed... I'm totally missing something in this whole Chuck Norris "could kill a man by spitting a hole right through him" discussion... LOL
 
1

1BadF350

New member
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
 
E

Edward429451

Moderator
You guys are too easily impressed. I think his movies were 'ok' and in Walker they made him seem kinky or even outright gay at times. No hard feelings, just calling it like I seen it.:p

:D
 
S

Samurai

New member
Okay, then new angle: what if Chuck Norris was after you? I mean, he's after all of us and our brothers, but let's say you had enough time to prepare. What would you arm yourself with?
Click to expand...

Bruce Lee tag-teamed with Nacho Libre, and a side of Jessie Ventura. And I'd have to have Stevie Ray Vauhgn playing on some old jukebox in the corner...
 
H

Hedley

New member
My favorites:
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming "Law and Order" are trademarked names of his left and right legs

And the top 100 list:
http://4q.cc/index.php?pid=top100&person=chuck
 
A

applesanity

New member
Aww you guys gave away links. I was kind of enjoying the fact that a few members had no idea where these "facts" about Chuck Norris came from. They actually thought we worshipped Chuck Norris for his movies or "walker" show.

I worship Chuck Norris because he controls the weather. And he's John Browning's real father.

Let's stay on topic though. Defending yourself against Chuck Norris is requires the ultimate tactial weapon. Plus ninja pirate skills.

+1 vote for arming myself with Charles Bronson from Death Wish III.
 
Last edited:
B

biglabsrule

New member
Does it really matter? You could have an m60 and be shooting at him from 20 yards and ever round would miss... Same with most movies/shows, the "bad guys" can seem to hit anything despite there being 20 of them with full auto ak's... lol
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top