Having carried for many, I hate to think how many, years, I'd opine that weight is a vary big part of your decision to tote your piece or leave it in the glove box. Size is next, and caliber third.
For that reason, I really like the S&W J frames, particularly the Airweight series. In .38 Spl +P, they offer good SD options, light weight and small yet controllable size. Simplicity is their middle name...pull the trigger...that's it. No magazines to fully seat, no safety to mess with or inadvertently push off or on, no slide to rack if you've got slippery hands or are wearing gloves....Simplicity in the heat of an encounter may save your life....and for a non-gun person (?Wife?)...a revolver is the best choice (IMHO).
The hammerless, Airweight's fit in most any pocket, can be shot from there if it's loose enough, and won't snag as you make your draw move. A pocket holster will help, but is not absolutely necessary. My preference, is one of the high ride OWB holsters, and I adjust my wardrobe to accommodate that preference. In all honesty, if you carry, you WILL make wardrobe adjustments with any holster or pocket carry method.
Caliber: .380 is pretty light (not recommended by many shooting schools, Front Sight among them). A .38 Spl or 9mm is a better choice, but any gun is better than none, even the lowly .22 LR. And the recommendation to shoot your carry piece a lot cannot be over-emphasized...a lot....so that the gun is an extension of your hand....regular practice is a necessity as gun fighting is a perishable skill....
I shoot every day...some for fun, some for SD practice but it helps to have a range out my back door....commit to the practice, and force your wife if necessary, to accompany you as often as she'll allow. She's more apt to be confronted than you, if you think about it....
HTH's ... Rod.
