Here's the part of your question that bothers me the most:
Honestly I'm leaning toward another 9mm but maybe even a .380. I'm not worried about big bore guns. I just want something comfortable, reliable, and reasonably priced. I've held all 4 guns I'll list but have never fired any of them. All of these felt good in my hand.
The very last thing you want to have sticking out in front of you, or to be holding onto when, 'things get sticky' and you have to fight for your life is, 'something comfortable'.
I have over 50 years of experience with firearm self-defense; and I assure you it is a truism that: AN EDC PISTOL SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO BECOME A, 'SELF-DEFENSE PACIFIER'. Just because you've got some cute 'n comfortable little gun in your pocket does NOT mean that you are safe. True, you might feel safe; but, in reality, 'safe' is the last thing that you'll actually be!
There's the easy way to learn; and there's the hard way to learn. I'm positive that it's not going to take you more than your very first armed confrontation for you to discover that: The bigger the gun, the more powerful the cartridge, and the more bullets you have to defend yourself with, then, the more likely you're going to be to walk away from the encounter.
When you're suddenly confronted with the serious personal dilemma of being forced to fight for your life you're going to want as much gun in your hand as you can possibly wield, effectively! One of the important things this means is that YOU'VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE(S) BETWEEN A PRIMARY CARRY GUN, AND A, 'BUG'. Very few experienced gunmen will, of their own volition, go into personal combat while wielding a, 'bug'; and any that do will be operating, expediently, under extreme duress!
This said: ALL, but (perhaps) one, of the pistols you're considering are, in fact, 'cute little bugs'. I've no doubt they're, all, very comfortable to carry, and might even be comfy to shoot, as well; but genuine self-defense, 'fighting weapons' they ain't! No one pistol can be all things to all people. My suggestion? Let your wife select her own handgun. If your wife is anything like my wife, then, she won't carry her pistol all of the time, anyway. Instead what you're going to hear is, '
What do I need to carry my gun for?' '
I've got you!'
True, a lot of people are going to disagree with the views I've just expressed; but, then again, a lot of people have never had to suddenly go face-to-face with three sadistic and determined drug dealers. I don't carry or use compact (or subcompact) little, 'pacifier pistols' as a primary handgun. Use a quality gun belt and holster, and you'll be fine. Use a decent sized 9mm, or better, pistol and you'll, also, stand a much better chance of walking away from your next armed encounter, too!
NOTES: By the way, 'feels good in your hand' mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. It's just more, 'personal security pablum' for ingenuous internet pistoleros to comfort themselves with. To wit: I was trained to handle firearms and shoot by three United States Marine Corps officers (my uncles).
My real personal opinion? Screw, 'feels good in the hand'. My uncles trained me to pick up any gun, anytime, and anywhere, and then to use it effectively. The concept of a weapon, 'feeling good' in the hand was as completely antithetical to each of my experienced (Korean War veteran) uncles as it is to me, today.
There's real world, armed self-defense; and there's real-time, internet self-defense. The one is not equal to the other. What sounds good on the Internet (or currently appeals to the popular mind) often doesn't work well on, 'the mean streets'. Do whatever you will; but, my suggestion would be to stay away from: cute, little, 'feel good', subcompact pistols, and 380 ACP caliber handguns.
