what to do about brother in law?

[jakeswensonmt]

This brother in law sounds like a bona fide jackass, and the one in serious need of a series of enthusiastic steel-toed boots to the backside. I wouldn't give anyone anything under threat of violence.

Seems to me that he's already broken the law by making this threat. At the least I'd file a police report, so that if it comes to violence you have it on record that he set the stage. You could even get an "order of protection" (restraining order), they're usually easy to get if you're willing to wade through some paperwork.

BIL seems to forget that in a conflict, they guy who actually has the .45's is likely to be the last man standing.

 

[Mr. James]

Unfortunately, it is foreshadowing what is to come.

Indeed it is, and that is why, as distasteful as it may seem, it is meet to think this through carefully while you are calm and rational, and not emotionally wrung out at the passing of your father. Have your plan in place. I kind of like Plan Golf Foxtrot Yankee, myself

At least the blood-sucking low-life broadcast his intentions well in advance. He could have sandbagged you and hit you when your guard was down.

May your father enjoy good health and length of days!

 

[Crosshair]

I'm not too familiar with many members of my dads side of the family, but apparently we have a few people like that.

My dad and Uncle were made executers of the will. (Actually my Uncle is primary with my dad is secondary, but they worked as equals.) My grandpa gave everyone a copy of the will with a clause at the bottom saying that anyone who contested or complained about their share forfeited it and got $1. Grandpa was a guy who didn't take any crap.

/I do miss him and it did kind of suck that it took him so long to die once he started going downhill. He hated being bedridden.

 

[model70fan]

+1 for Gulf Foxtrot Yankee I am also in this battle with about half of my family over my Grandad (he is still alive) Every time I am confronted by any of them I say the same thing, he's gonna do what he's gonna do and those are the wishes I am going to respect. It's not about the money or the possessions, it's about his wishes. If your dad wants you to have the those guns that is his choice, not your BIL's. Hold up 3 fingers and tell him to read between the lines, don't worry about what some @$$hole that has no business in your relationship with your father thinks. And if he pushes the issue, like others have said, the guy with the .45s usually wins against the guy who wants the .45s

 

[YukonKid]

Spend as much time with your father as you can before he passes, you cannot get that time back. Then worry about guns. You are the son, your BIL can go to he11, he has no legal rights to anything, unless previously stated by your father in the will and witnessed by a second and signed off on by his attorney. Talk with your sister about it, she has an opinion as well.

YK

 

[Alleykat]

JHC! The dad is 60, not 80! Let's hope he lives another 25-30 years. Take a look at the will. If your BIL actually follows through with kicking your ass, have him locked up, where he belongs.

 

[markj]

what would you do if someone that close told you this or similar?

My sis was married twice and I kicked both their butts, put one into the hospital. She is single now.

Dad passed away and I got his shotgun I bought for him, I gave it to my younger brother since he didnt havea good shotgun to hunt with. He got teared up, I felt real good. I see Dad there every bird he drops. He got his limit first time this last season and Dadwas a smiling down upon us.

Kev moved to CA after college, he missed a lot of years with the Old Man and I on hunting trips we took. He moved back and finally went out with Dad and I, he was hooked. Now we hunt together and make our memories.

But no bro in law is worthy of this treatment unless he earns it. Younger sis has a husband we all love and call brother, he would get this treatment cause he has shown us he is a man and worthy of sis's heart.

 

[homefires]

Novel thought!

If you think the BIL was serious about what he said , take actions.

Inform your father as to what kind of BUZZARD your brother in law is. Tell him what he said.

Let your father do what he wishes with his properties.

 

[lockedcj7]

My father passed at 58 after a short and unexpected illness so the time to talk about it is now. He only owned three guns (that we know of) and none had any sentimental/collector's value. Still, my step-mother didn't want them around since she doesn't know anything about guns. I'm the only son so she gave them to me. Recently, my grandfather got sick and I told my grandmother that I eventually wanted his SxS 20 ga. It didn't have any collector's value either but it held tremendous sentimental value. She insisted that I go ahead and take it. I'm glad I did. He passed away a few months later and my uncle took the rest of the guns before anyone else got there. Neither he nor my cousin is a hunter or gun enthusiast and I have no doubt that those guns will never be shot again.

 

[357 Python]

If possible try to tape the BIL when he has his flights of fancy. Call the whole family together along with the family attorney. Then play the tape for all of them then it is your fathers decision whether or not to bar him from the property. The attorney will definately set the BIL straight. When finished the BIL will probably leave and won't want to show his face anywhere near you or your side of the family. The idea is to show everyone the type of bad actor this clown wants to be. If he threatens you on the tape the attorney can advise him that he may be bought and paid for (a phrase we use here for some idiot who just gave you legal justification to shoot him when they make a bad move and the courts say tough luck). No matter what you should be talking to the family attorney and keeping him/her up to date on this rectum wipe.

 

[rem870hunter]

mike irwin, BIL and sister argued a few times in the past. both at my dads and their (BIL and sisters home.) he does drink, was probably drunk and being stupid when my sister tossed him out not once or twice but 3 times. not sure i wasn't there when it happened. just heard about from my dad.

honkylips, if i could buy them i would. the issue is money,if i am lucky i can buy a few hundred dollars worth of things that i really really need, in jan. when i get my income tax return. the rest of it pays bills. if i could buy my own when i felt the urge and had the money to i would. i can think of a few firearms that i would like to buy that my dad don't have.

lockedcj7, i am sorry for your loss. at 58 it wasn't his time.

357 python, i would love to have been able to get that threat on tape. and the one he made about getting a dumpster and tossing my dads stuff.

not long after him telling me that if my sister asked for the .45, he got drinking one night while he and my sister still lived at my mom and dads house. he told my dad that he wants his dress blues, hat, nco sword. and was going to take the flag from his funeral and put it in a nice glass case in his (bil) living room. so his (bil and sister) kids have something to remember pop pop bill.
he did put his foot in his mouth back in december he had himself some drinks and was feeling really good ( i guess). for whatever reason he (bil) asked his parents what do you want me to do if suddenly you 2 died. like together at the same time. ya never know it can happen he said plane crash,car wreck,etc. they told him you know where the key is and will know what to do when the time comes. he then turned and told my mom and dad i already know what to do if something happens to you 2 together. i am going to go to your house and change all the locks so no one can get inside and take stuff. so that there makes strike 3. the gun,the cleaning out the house and the changing the locks.

all the guns are locked in cabinets. 1 set of keys to them is locked in a combo safe. bil doesn't know the combo and never did. sister don't know it either, the other set of keys is locked with the gun papers,will,etc. and i know where that key is. when i see him tomorrow i am definetly going to check with him on who is executor of the will,estate.

 

[357 Python]

I hate to say it but this sounds as if he is already planning something. Notify your family attorney immediately and document everything so if anything funny happens the police will have a suspect. Having been a Private Investigator and currently a Police Officer for the Department of the Army this conduct is not normal. I hope I'm wrong but in nearly 30 years of protective services (private security and police) I have learned to pay attention to those gut feelings.

 

[nutty ned]

rem870hunter:
Could we put him in a cage with mine?

 

[Hawg]

I was in almost the same situation. After my dad died I got all his guns. My nephew(by marriage) tried to get them saying dad wanted him to have them for his son when he got older. My dad never said any such thing. My sister got into it saying she wanted them for the same boy. My niece divorced him a few months later so he's out of the picture but me and my sis aren't getting along very well now. Also my father in law died a couple of weeks ago. He had a few guns. A couple of them I'd love to have but I'm not going to try to get them. They should go to members of his family, not a relative by marriage. However should any be offered(fat chance) I won't say no.

 

[dairycreek]

I am 71 years old and I own a lot of guns. At my age I neither need to own that many nor can I shoot all of them on a regular basis. So, many of these guns just sit around as involuntary safe queens. I have seen relatives do some pretty strange things when a loved one dies and the will is read. So, I have begun to give away my guns to those that I think might appreciate them and use them well. I have made this process known and have given away most of the guns already. Just keep enough to shoot and keep me amused. If someone does not like it - tough. But let them get mad at me rather than cause a lot of fuss after I die. My advice? Don't let a will do something when you're dead that you can do better while still alive.

 

[rem870hunter]

hawg , i am sorry for your losses. i hope that the times you had with them were all good ones.

dairy, i am hoping that the years have been good to you. may you have many more good years to come, and that whatever happens to your possesions when you pass will be put to good use (not that you haven't). and those that get them will care for them well as you have while you had them.

while what my father has sits in cabinets pretty much doing nothing. they hold value to me. some are for my boys and brother in laws boys. for in the future if they want to hunt and that when i pass they would get certain ones. so says my will when i write it, as long as they keep clean.

his father (my grandad) passed 4 years ago. before his alzheimers advanced he sat him and his sister and brothers down and planned on what to do. my dad was told to take back what firearms he (my dad) bought and gave to him. and some that were to go to him. there was a few that were supposed to and didn't. one of the brothers got the house and inside was the few he didn't get. they are still in there, along with another brothers browning auto5. they haven't spoken since grandad died. but i am staying out of that decision.

they are not collectors items, they were bought for the purpose of hunting and some for plinking. when he bought the marlins he bought 2 at one time, 1 for him and 1 for me. a week later bought 1 for his father. i wasn't old enough to hunt with it yet so he sold it to a relative that was going hunting with him. then bought another years later for me. he made sure that with the rifles, he had atleast 2 of one action type and of the same caliber. one for me and one for him. until a few years after my first son was born. he started buying more so that when he started hunting he had one to use. the pistols, not really sure why other than hunting. although i wouldn't shoot an animal with a .380 auto unless i really really needed to. the .38 spl,.357 mag,9mm,.45 acp. i would use for hunting. if legal where i would be hunting.

 

[Mike Irwin]

My father passed last year. He didn't have a lot of guns, but he had several nice one.

I'm the guy guy in the family, and Dad wanted me to have them all.

My brother, not a gun guy, asked if he could have one of Dad's semi-autos.

Dad only had two semi-autos, I wanted both of them, and neither one was what my brother was talking about wanting, so I told him no, but I'd take care of it.

A few weeks ago I picked up a Ruger 9mm for a song that I'm going to give to him.

Solves the issue nicely.

 

[Webleymkv]

Well, I would definately find out if you're the executor of the will. If so, I wouldn't give BIL or your sister anything as long as they're still married regardless of whether or not they get the proper ID. Your BIL sounds like a volitile borderline (if not full blown) alcoholic and these sorts of people don't need access to firearms. It may be worth doing a background check on you BIL as it's very possible that he may have a criminal record that might prevent him from owning a firearm anyway.

 

[M1911]

If possible try to tape the BIL when he has his flights of fancy.

Bad idea. Tape recording a person without their knowledge is illegal in many states. Don't do that unless you first get advice from competent counsel.

 

[dakotashooter2]

My guess is that the BIL may be "gone" before you have to worry about it.