Let's see if I have this right....
You'd prefer a 3" barrel to a 2" barrel.
Cylinder width is more of an issue for you than barrel length.
You are not recoil sensitive (or not too easily bothered)
You're not fond of "skinny" grips (easiest to correct).
You want something accurate to 25 yards.
Caliber has to be effective for self-defense.
That about it?
I'll add that if your need isn't too immediate, you can consider having a 2.5" 686 set up to use moon clips for reloading. That'll allow your left hand to simply drop the ammo in without having to turn/push/pull any knobs.
In new models, that comes down to something like an S&W L-frame .357. The
586 L-Comp is probably what you're looking for. Seven rounds, 3" ported barrel, front night-sight, 37oz.
If that's too bulky for you, consider one of the steel J-frame 5-shooters with large-ish grips. Either the hammerless S&W
Model 640 Centennial or the shrouded hammer Model 649
Bodyguard, as shown below.
Both can fire .357 Magnum or .38 +P ammo.
I would not dismiss a revolver capable of firing .38 Special +P either. Over the years the .38 Special has shown itself to be quite capable when fired accurately. The above 649 is generally carried with Winchester .38 +P SXT 130-gr +P ammo. Opening your options to the .38 +P allows you to include the six-shot,
3" barreled K-Frame Model 64 or the 5-shot,
3" Classic Model 36.
Even with the 2 1/8" barrel 25 yard hits are not unusual. That doesn't mean it's
easy to make a tight group at that range however. But you should be able to hit a silhoutte at that distance.
If none of these suit your needs, then finding a used K-Frame .357 Magnum will be your next step. A model 13, 19, 65 or 66 with a 2.5" or 3" barrel.