Kilo class sub. I want one. I'm going to smuggle pots, more specifically, 5 gallon flush potty toilets, into this country from our Great Neighbor to the North. The Border Service, Coast Guard and FBI will be too busy looking for Al Queda or drug smugglers while I become, with the help of Soviet Technology, Potty King of America!
I found just the thing for that guy on my Christmas list who's haunted by those pesky black helicopters! It'll fit right in with the toolshed full of SKS carbines.
I want one of the Small subs to cruise on the Tennessee River on weekends. Can you imagine the look on the faces of the TVA/ Corps of Engineers guys if you surfaced to go through the lock? I have wanted a sub like that since watching Boris, Natasha, & Fearless Leader use them on "Rocky & Bullwinkle".