When would you tell a new girlfriend that you carry?

Mokumbear

New member
How and when would you bring up the fact that you concealed carry and like guns with a new girlfriend?

I actually had one women find a post I made to The Firing Line before we even met for the first time. She had a child and was obviously anti-gun and refused to date me simply because I owned a gun. Oh well! :rolleyes:

I thought she would respect the fact that I changed from merely owning guns to carrying after my ex-wife was being stalked from afar for years by her ex-husband. I was protecting my wife, my child and myself.
I felt that was a noble and protective thing to do!

Fortunately, he lived in another state but he would send her unwanted letters and this would upset her since he had been abusive.
I didn't really care until one time he sent her a letter that he had passed through our town. This really freaked out the ex. He later called, I picked up the phone, I recognized his name and voice and told him firmly that he was never to call our home again.
Fortunately, he was too much of a coward to ever do anything and I haven't heard from him in about 10 years.

I thought carrying was necessary. I called the local Sheriffs office, one of them visited our home, took a report and said there was nothing they could do because he lived out of state. Just as well because I later read that stalkers are as happy to have your hate as your love. Thanks to common sense, we never confronted him for years until he called and I think that was wise.

I digress...

I don't want to lose a new girlfriend because I carry and own guns.
I also intentionally tell almost nobody that I own guns.
Only my brother, my sister and my closest friend I have known since childhood know.
I think this is wise to discourage any attempts at theft or losing the element of surprise if a criminal learns I have guns.

Sooo... How long would you wait until you discussed this with a new girlfriend? You know how I feel about concealing my gun ownership.
What would you do?
How would you introduce the topic?
If nothing else, I think I would have to inform her for her own safety due to loaded guns in my home and car. (No kids in the home)

I know that more and more women are interested in guns, not just from the magazines but what I see at the range.
All the same, I don't live in a rural area where guns are merely a fact of life.
 

JERRYS.

New member
I wouldn't date somebody that objected to me defending myself figure she'd see my gun when I undress, or put it on the night stand, or remove my jacket or has her arm around my waist..... if you can't be your own man first, you'll fail at being somebody else's.
 

BillM

New member
Be up front about it. If she is pro or neutral, go for it. Heck--offer
to take her shooting. Don't be an ass and hand her a 44 magnum!

Rabidly anti? Run.

Or you could wait until you need a serious answer to:

Is that a gun in your pants or are you happy to see me?:)
 

Pahoo

New member
It's all about trust and never lie !!!

Sooo... How long would you wait until you discussed this with a new girlfriend?
On situations like this, there is no set time. What is more important is the trust that you first have to build up. Until then, do you will have to do the old DA Two-Step. At some point, you will know when to bring it up. When I first started dating my wife, I informed her that I was a hunter and into shooting sports. I also told her I was a Hunter Ed. instructor. At first she was not comfortable with my interest in guns. Slowly but surely and with gained trust, she is now totally 2A accepting. ..... :)

Be Safe !!!
 
Mokumbear said:
Sooo... How long would you wait until you discussed this with a new girlfriend? You know how I feel about concealing my gun ownership.
I would get the guns out in the open long before a new date morphed into a "girlfriend." It saves both parties a lot of emotional expenditure over a relationship that won't go anywhere.

I would say by the second or third date, if you know you would like there to be a serious relationship, that's probably the time to clear the air.
 

MGRacer

New member
Take her shooting with something that would be fun for her to shoot -- like a smooth running .22. Third or fourth date (maybe the one to a range ...) might be about right. You may be pleasantly surprised ... When I started dating my wife I was amazed to learn that she was a shooter and came from a shooting family.
 

Lurch37

New member
I would say by the second or third date, if you know you would like there to be a serious relationship, that's probably the time to clear the air.

I've been divorced for 15 years or so and although I have no intentions of remarrying, I have dated a few women and the statement above reflects my treatment of the subject. I will add that once your in my home you will soon get the idea that I am a gun owner. :)
 

JohnKSa

Administrator
I don't want to lose a new girlfriend because I carry and own guns.
Assuming you're pretty serious about owning and carrying guns, that is precisely the wrong attitude to take.

You don't want to form an attachment to someone who is opposed to something that is important to you. The whole point of dating is to find out if the two of you are compatible. This is exactly the time that you DO want to "lose" someone if the two of you can't find a compromise. It only gets worse if you leave it until later.
 

Overkill777

New member
I dated someone who was anti gun. She just didn't understand guns and was afraid of them. She refused to learn anything about them. It was terrible.

I am happily married now to a ccw holder but if that wasn't the case I would never consider dating someone who was not at least willing to learn about guns.

Owning guns is not only my biggest hobby it's a part of my lifestyle with carrying every day and all.
 
Best to get this out in the open
Quickly if you intend to want
a relationship with her. You'll
Find out really quick if she's
interested in going further in
your relationship or not.
Good luck!
Doc
 

Lee6113

New member
If I were I the dating process with my wife all over again, it'd come up pretty quick as to m interests. So often people talk about movies, music, hobbies, interests, etc. that it'd quickly be revealed I like to go to the range. Based on that, whether her reaction is positive or negative or neutral, it'd quite possibly be the opportune moment to bring it up.
 

Snyper

New member
Quote:
Sooo... How long would you wait until you discussed this with a new girlfriend?
A couple of hours so she wouldn't panic if she felt it

I don't want to lose a new girlfriend because I carry and own guns.
I wouldn't want to waste time on one if guns were going to cause problems
 

DAVID NANCARROW

New member
If the female is anti gun I will sail her to the curb like a Frisbee.

I have no room nor sympathy for anyone who is against firearms.

The first date might be dinner and a movie.

Second date is to the gun range.
 

hartcreek

Moderator
I dated a gal that was anti gun but she was not so anti gun that I could not carry with her. When I went to her house my shoulder holster and gun were stored in the front closet as soon as I repaired the locks to her house. After three months she found other reasons to not be together so I would have been better off if she had been more anti before I had more invested. We would go up to the cabin and ski and my gun was right on the nightstand to deal with people and critters of the night.

Show her that is just a tool just like a hammer and if she doesn't like you caring for her welfare send her to the curb before you have time and your heart invested.
 

Pond James Pond

New member
I feel you need to play this by ear. It is nothing to be ashamed of, but then it is also something private.

One doesn't usually divulge all of one's personal details. Relationships are built on trust and honesty, but both need to be earned and Rome was not built in a day.

When you have reached a point when you are starting to get to know one another and there is clear mutual respect; when you feel that any negative feelings she may have about guns will not immediately over-rule what she knows about you as a person then it is probably a good time to tell her about and explain why you started carrying. In doing so, I think it a good idea to highlight that you are trusting her with a very personal aspect of you life that not many people know

She may even be interested in finding out more. Perhaps she has simply never known a firearms enthusiast well.

Good luck!
 

Cheapshooter

New member
Before she ever became a "girlfriend"!!!
Surely before that time you have had idle chit chat. Bring up guns, and if she freaks out, fuhgeddaboudit!
 
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