Art Eatman
Staff in Memoriam
Been so much gloom and doom, I thought I'd give some good news.
1. A sneak-burglar had a pattern of going into little old ladies' (LOLs) houses and taking cash and jewelry. He would then stand by the bed, "hovering", until the LOL woke up. When she screamed, he would run.
One night, he went through his routine. When the LOL woke up, she didn't scream. She hauled her trusty .38 fromunder the covers, and commenced to shoot. He got the kitchen door open, but strained himself running thru the latched screen door, the LOL right in behind him. He headed off down the sidewalk. The straight line was a big mistake; she center-punched him between the shoulder blades.
2. Switchboard phone rings at hospital, late at night. Quavery voice says, "I need some help". Usual thoughts go through operator's mind. Query about illness, etc.
"No, there was this man coming through my window and I shot him." "So, you need an ambulance?"
"No, I just want to know if I should drag him inside before I call the police?"
Both stories are sworn to be true, and I ain't about to argue with my wife...
1. A sneak-burglar had a pattern of going into little old ladies' (LOLs) houses and taking cash and jewelry. He would then stand by the bed, "hovering", until the LOL woke up. When she screamed, he would run.
One night, he went through his routine. When the LOL woke up, she didn't scream. She hauled her trusty .38 fromunder the covers, and commenced to shoot. He got the kitchen door open, but strained himself running thru the latched screen door, the LOL right in behind him. He headed off down the sidewalk. The straight line was a big mistake; she center-punched him between the shoulder blades.
2. Switchboard phone rings at hospital, late at night. Quavery voice says, "I need some help". Usual thoughts go through operator's mind. Query about illness, etc.
"No, there was this man coming through my window and I shot him." "So, you need an ambulance?"
"No, I just want to know if I should drag him inside before I call the police?"
Both stories are sworn to be true, and I ain't about to argue with my wife...
