Stickers in the backside

6

603Country

New member
Ah, the porcupine thread brought back memories. I worked for a trading company back in the 80's, and we had a couple of huge leased ranches for hunting. Mostly it was guys, but later the ladies got into the trading business, so they brought customers down to the leases also. Had a lady coworker that was a strong women's rights supporter. No problem with me, cause it was all fine as far as I cared. But...on a quail hunt with her and her customer, they were on my jeep. Her customer/guest was a huge fat guy. We got into the Blue Quail, and they wouldn't flush. They'd just run like dang greyhounds, so we'd run behind them to flush them. The big guy, as I was watching, was running (if you could call it that) and stepped in a hole and flat lost it and spun in midair and landed Tailbone down on a big cactus. God only knows how many cactus spines were sticking out of his tail, through his pants. I was in absolute amazement, and then the lady walked up to me and said "you need to pull all those cactus needles out of him". And I said "He__ no, he's your customer and your problem. And MY customer and I had beer and watched her for a good hour pulling cactus needles out of that huge expanse of pure white backside. She'd pull a few with the pliers and then she'd look over at me with this "I will kill you later" look. Ahhhh, what a wonderful moment in my life. Equal rights for women never looked so good. Man, I miss that lease and my jeep.

On a separate note, she was a bit of a rough gal. Strong language and equal mannerisms. We got bought by Enron (before they were called Enron) and they sent her to Charm School. They really did. Clothing, makeup, hair, table manners, the whole thing. After that she was pretty darn Hot. An amazing change. She still cussed me like a sailor though.
 
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Old Stony

New member
What memories ! These kind of times are the things we will cherish in our old age. When an old codger can look back and laugh a little to himself about something like that....well it just doesn't get better.
 
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samsmix

New member
Back in the day I worked for a courier service that ran drugs to rural clinics and hospitals. It also picked up lab specimens and such from hospitals and veterinarians on the return trip. One of these pick ups was an 11lb container filled with the generous contribution of a stud horse. We called it the "milk shake". The vet clinic was run by a real feminazi, the kind who knew you were scum cuz well, duh, you're a man. She liked to talk down to me and the other drivers and really let us know that to her, we were just the serving class.

This sort of treatment went on until one day, thanks to a light load and a federal holiday, I ran about 2 hours early on my route, and found Ms. Feminazi "making a milkshake" with her prize animal. I hadn't known (or really cared) but apparently collecting all that stuff isn't full serv, but rather it comes from the, uh...self service pump!

I never did see Ms. Feminazi again, only other employees. Oh she was there all right, but never would look at me or even stay in the room after that.
 
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Bultaco

New member
Equal opportunity does not always mean something good! I am really glad to hear that you did not act like a male chauvinist pig.
 
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rickyrick

New member
I've had cactus butt more than once.

Other evilness like mesquite thorns and tripping on yucca.

All are painful, mesquite the most.

Nothing is as painful as driving home after the hunt smelling like skunk, topped off with thorns in your backside and a rifle full of dirt. Some encounters have a domino effect. To add to that visual, imagine all of the above conditions explaining all of this to a state trooper.
 
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Paul B.

New member
Gee. How come noboby's mention Satan's favorite plant, the jumping cholla? :eek: You know they deliberately jump out to stab you and don't ever step on one of the buds.
Paul B.
 
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