Share your elephant story

Archer1440

New member
I was having a conversation about "close calls" with some friends today and thought it might be interesting to share some stories.

Here's mine. Didn't quite see the elephant, but this was close enough for me.

Heading into Tijuana with an engineering assistant to calibrate a new piece of equipment at my company's San Diego division Maquila plant.

Crossed the Otay Mesa crossing in an unmarked company car. About 2 klicks into TJ, we're stuck at a light, three lanes of traffic trying to become one-and-a half.

I immediately (thanks Jeff Cooper) notice an odd looking car to my right. In the vehicle, a black late model and very clean Honda Accord, are four burly mustachioed men in black t-shirts.

They look agitated. They begin laying on the horn.

Then the driver DRAWS A GLOCK (model unknown but a full-sized one) and starts waving it out the window, naturally crossing me and my assistant.

I immediately formed a plan to get clear of the situation by reversing into the nose of the car to my left and forcing us out of the easiest line of fire.

Then the light turned green. Driver fires two rounds into the air finally getting attention of the oblivious driver in front. Said driver panics and stalls his car. Traffic around me freezes. My passenger hits the floor.

The carload of what I was later told were probably corrupt Mexican Federal cops immediately swerved around the stalled car, and took off at a high rate of speed.

The clincher: NEBRASKA plates. (stolen car of course).

Observations- I surprisingly had no fear, just cold calculation as to what I was going to do. It was almost a little bit exhilerating.

My passenger lost his lunch.

I was somewhat ticked off at getting into in that situation in the first place, but felt reassured in that I was in a proper state of Yellow, identified the problem, planned several ways to deal with it, and was ready and able to implement the most obvious of those.

Ironically, on the way back, we saw another group of brown-uniformed Tijuana cops doing their best to break their batons on some poor bastard they had down on the sidewalk.

Interesting place at times.
 

El Rojo

New member
While hunting for a bear, found a reported $17 million marijuana plantation. Only had a 4 shot Remington pump .308 Winchester as defense. Thankfully the dogs chasing the bear probably scared the farmers/keepers away. That could have gotten really ugly.
 

Bogie

New member
May has well tell it...

When I was in college, I had this one loony roomie.

We went out one night, and raided a pot field. In his Camaro. Thought we were out for a rid. Didn't know we were raiding a pot field until he pulled into it, got out, popped the trunk, and started choppin' and stuffin'...

The farmers noticed us, and started firing from a distance, but we were on a road/trail that was in a slightly depressed area, and they managed to only shoot up the roof area of the vehicle. Glass out, etc... Pretty hair, drove out in the floorboards.

Got back to campus, parked the thing, went in and drank cheap beer until we stopped shaking.

Went out the next morning, and you could see pot leaves sticking up all around the trunk, gouges in the roof, etc... Lucky we weren't killed/arrested.

He totaled out the car about a week later while driving like an idiot...
 

TexasVet

New member
Oh... never mind. Thought I was gonna get to tell the story about the elephant on the fantail of the destroyer in Madrid again. I STILL know nothing about it, though!:D
 
Here is a close one for ya'll

I was in DC about 5 years ago, when I didnt know too much about the city, and i got lost. Little to my knowledge I was in a very bad neighborhood. The fellow I was with demanded that we stop and ask a few 'homies' on the corner for directions. We did, and as soon as he lowered the window and asked one of the guys pulled a gun and demanded our wallets and other valuables. Being the young and naieve person I was I immediatly put the car in gear and spun wheels outta there. We heard 3 shots fired, I saw one of the shots impact into a puddle in the middle of the street, so I took the first right turn I could. We drove about 3 blocks as fast as my Integra could go in first gear before i finally remembered to shift. After we got back to the safety of Northern Virginia, we got of the car, to find that one of the rounds fired actually impacted the passenger-side door about an inch below the window. Had the guy been a better shot I prolly would have been driving outta there with my buddy sinning shotgun with his head splattered all over my interior. As it turns out we had wandered into DC's Greenleaf Projects, well known for it's curb side sale of marijuana and PCP.
 

LawDog

Staff Emeritus
I had taken a critter to Potter County SO so that he could meet the TDC chain bus, and was on my way back to my county.

About the time I hit the County line, the sun is coming up in my face, the clouds were tinted with the colours of a beautiful Panhandle fall morning, and there's some guy with a beard doing something rhythmic in the median as I pass.

I blink a couple of times, cut across the median into the westbound lane and drive back past the gentleman, and I'll be hornswoggled if he wasn't flogging the dolphin right there on US287, in front of God, Mary and morning traffic.

Folks, I'm a little bit more libertarian than the average Texas peace officer, but there are some things one just does not do in the median of a major highway at dawn, and auto-erotic self-recreation is one of them.

I pull back across the median, stop some distance away from the gentleman, turn on the flashers and step out of the cruiser. Standing behind the open door of the Super-scooter, I call out to the old boy, "**** County Sheriff's Office. Would you mind stepping over here for a second?"

He swivels his eyes over to my car, but doesn't cease his activities. Hell, he didn't slow down, he didn't speed up, he was like a damned metronome.

"Hey! Put that thing away and come here for a moment!"

Nothing. Then I, as we say out west, hauled off and screwed the pooch. I stepped out from behind the door of the cruiser and sidled up to the critter.

I never saw him reach behind himself. I never saw the serrated kitchen knife, until it was halfway up the front of my shirt.

I think it was the sound of the serrations skittering across the steel trauma plate that finally clued me in. Funny that I don't remember the knife making any sounds, so it might have been the vibrations as each serration caught on the edge of the plate before bouncing off. Who knows.

The instant of disbelief that followed was enough time for the man to finish his upward cut, and to slash back down across the same line, and then the two cuts were done, and then he slammed into me chest to chest.

Reflex. Instinct. Whatever, somehow I had his knife arm clamped under my left arm, left hand desperately digging into his bicep, and my right had a huge handful of the stinking hair on the back of his head, his forehead pulled into my shoulder pocket, and my right leg pistoning back, a pause, then a knee strike into some part of his body. Again. And again.

One of those wierd things about adrenaline: I can remember vividly how thick and greasy and nasty his hair was. The pause I made each time my leg went back, chambering the strike. And the animal grunts he made as each knee strike hammered into him.

Suddenly we were on the ground. I don't remember the fall. I don't know if I slammed us on the ground, or if he did it, or if one of us just lost balance, or if some God of Battle pushed us over. We were up, and then we were down and there was nothing in between.

He flung out his arms when we hit, like a child making snow angels. I grabbed his knife arm with both hands, and -- andrenaline again -- I can remember how slick his arm was, and the cloying feel of sweat and grease and dirt.

I remember seeing his other hand cuffing me across the face, but I don't remember feeling it. I know that one or both of us must have been screaming, but I don't remember it, but I do remember the tiny sounds of crunches and pops and snaps when my left foot came up and I put my weight on his knife hand.

My left hand was locked into a front chokehold on the critter, I have no idea when or how I put it there. And my HK was in my right hand, and there was a distant thump as I hit him across the temple as hard as I could with the butt of that pistol. And then I drew back and I did it again. And again, and again. Until he stopped moving.

I kicked the knife out of his bloody hand. There was nothing graceful, or gentle about the kick. It was a soccer kick, pure and simple, and his arm flailed out and the knife arced up US287, bouncing and skittering along the asphalt, before I clawed him onto his face and slammed the handcuffs onto him.

That's the elephant, ladies and gentlemen. He's bigger than the lump in your throat, blacker than hell and stinks of fear and blood and body waste.

I'd just as soon as not ever have seen him, thank you very much.

LawDog
 

rock_jock

New member
Man, Lawdog, that was quite a pleasant story. Why couldn't it have been some bodacious blond bombshell in the buff waving at traffic?
 
Top