pshaaawwwww! my front door has a sign that says:
Crimes* committed against occupants of this home** are strictly forbidden under penalty of the use of possibly deadly force***.
* - Crimes include but are not limited to: assault, robbery, theft of property (personal and physical), battery, sexual molestation, attempted murder.
** - "Occupants of this home" is hereby defined as Anyone whose prime residence is at this location, including when they are traveling off these premises.
*** - The use of 'possible deadly force' abides by all state and federal laws regarding the justifiable use of deadly force. Any alleged suspect who has recieved deadly force and survives are encouraged to make deathbed confessions of other past crimes, real and imaginary.