Yall arent really serious are you???,.....yall are just too funny......but in the interest of safety maybe this will help......
-with the slide off of the pistol and turned upside down insert the barrel
-put the bushing in the frame, and turn it such that it leaves an opening for the spring
-put the spring in the frame up to the link, dont forget the guide
-while not compressing the spring turn the bushing through the spring(you dont have to do this but it can help) it keeps the spring from moving back and forth
-grasp the frame with whichever hand you prefer, placing the thumb on the spring to keep up in the frame when you turn the slide over, make sure the link is exposed and forward to the spring
-now with the slide upside down grasp your frame in the other hand and guide the frame and slide together
-once the is on the slide if you put the bushing through the spring turn it so the spring can move freely, no tension
-while pulling the slide back look through the hold and you will see the link align with the hole in the frame, it might not be a complete 100%alignment, but most of the hole will align
-now carefully push the slide release in the hole through to the other side, leaving the other end dangling into the trigger guard area
-cock the hammer
-pull the slide back so the disconnect notch is aligned with the square cut in the frame
-now pull the the slide release pin out slightly and rotate up to the notch (notice the beveled edge on the slide release?), and place that edge on the pin and gently push down on the release and it will go in the hole, once the slide release is full inserted
-pull the slide forward and lock the thumb safety
-turn the pistol over and put the end on the spring and insert and turn the bushing to lock in place.....rack the slide and see if anything binds.....
hope I didnt offend anyone, just looking to help.......fubsy.