Now you can be a CEO - of Handgun Control, Inc.!

Jeff Thomas

New member
Sent to me by a friend, out of the 12/28/99 Wall Street Journal:

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HANDGUN CONTROL, INC. WANTS TO FIND A NEW president. Incumbent Robert Walker, who has been at the helm of the nonprofit advocacy group for the last few years, is leaving the organization. The new leader will earn at least $150,000 and lead 60 staffers from the organization's Washington headquarters.

Founded in 1974, HCI currently has nearly 400,000 members and a $6 million budget. Arnie Miller, co-founder of Boston search firm Isaacson, Miller, spoke about the opening:

 What will the next president have to do? "The person will function as the leader of a growing national movement. He or she will handle fund-raising, speak at engagements around the counrty and advocate gun control in Congress and state legislatures."

 What unconventional approaches would you like the newcomer to pursue? "Vigils at congressmen's offices and graphic showing of both the big numbers of gun victims and the individual cases of pain and suffering to incite political action."

 Could a gun owner apply? "Sure. I understand why some people own guns. The organization is really about controlling the use and availability of guns and stopping the crazy spread of Uzis on the streets of our cities."

 Will the new hire go up against NRA President Charlton Heston? "It's a possibility. And if it happens, the person should relish the chance. That man is on the wrong side of the fence."

-- Kemba J. Dunham

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Yeah, the Uzi problem is so bad, I can hardly go across town in Phoenix without tripping over one of those darn things. And, Chuck Heston - that guy is always backing the wrong horse - civil rights, the Bible, you name it ...

Well, gotta go polish my resume now ... ;)


BTW, here's a web posting for the opening: http://www.execsearches.com/exec/detail.asp?job_id=314
 

LawDog

Staff Emeritus
Check me on this: But wasn't the guy who founded HCI a former CIA agent?

Hmm, wonder what it takes to be fired as President of HCI? The right person could do beaucoup damage to that pismire under the right conditions...

Let me adjust my resume...leave off certain things, inflate others--you know, standard resume practice.

"In todays news, LawDog, President of HCI, announced that HCI's entire bank account was mysteriously donated to the National Rifle Association. President LawDog promises "...an investigation of Waco proportions!" Anonymous sources close to the embattled President of HCI reveal that he suspects Sarah Brady as being a plant for anti-gun-control forces. More news as it breaks."

Mwaa Haa Haaaaa!!!

LawDog
 

Coinneach

Staff Alumnus
Go Dawg! Go Dawg!

Man, you just made my night. Being a cop, you'd be the *perfect* plant, since those weenies are stone-cold convinced that all cops are anti.

Hee-hee-heeeee... :D

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"The evils of tyranny are rarely seen but by him who resists it."
-- John Hay, 1872
 

Dennis

Staff Emeritus
Jeez, Jeff! I saw your thread title and it nearly stopped my pacemaker. Egad!!

I could use the money, but I don't think I'd fit in. (Raunchy comments deleted by author! ;) )
 

George Hill

Staff Alumnus
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>...stopping the crazy spread of Uzis on the streets of our cities.[/quote]

If you guys see any Uzi's laying around the streets of your city - After you take your fill... grab a few for me would ya?

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"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." - Sigmund Freud
 

James K

Member In Memoriam
Where do I apply?

I want to ban all guns except pistols, revolvers, single shots, rifles, shotguns, air guns, spring guns, rubber band guns, CO2 guns, machineguns, cannon, and artillery pieces. These can be bought, sold, owned, and carried freely.

All other guns must go!

Jim
 

AnthonyR

New member
Very well then. Ill send in my resume...They wont care abotu age, will they?


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"Those that give up essential liberties for a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining.
 

fubsy

New member
I want to know how their doing so much with only a 6 million dollar budget.....I wonder who is holding the slush fund...fubsy.
 

Miss Demeanors

New member
I say someone applies as a total anti. Then when there is a big crowd ready to hear your speech........BAM teach them about guns! :) Behind the curtain can be a mini range, with all sorts of evil weapons. :)

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My-website
We are as one as we all are the same fighting for one cause -Metallica
 
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