Received this in my email this morning.
I guess they've got to do something...
Smith & Wesson Commemorative Guns
Presented by Charles Heller
I'm sure that by now Smith & Wesson has realized that it has committed a serious faux paux with the gun owners of America, and will have to rely on government contracts to avoid bankruptcy. I'm sure that the brilliant minds at Smith & Wesson are thinking of ways to increase sales to federal agencies. Perhaps they've considered the commissioning of new commemorative firearms. Some possibilities include:
1. The Lon Horiuchi Model 629 Commemorative .44 magnum.
This one comes with a scope with a range-finding feature: when a woman holding a baby just fills the two horizontal stadia wires in the scope, you know your target is precisely 100 yards away.
2. The Janet Reno Model 625 Commemorative .45 ACP.
This model includes a "Bill of Rights" test target. The unfluted cylinder is engraved with scenes showing the burning Branch Davidian "compound" and the siege at Ruby Ridge.
3. The Bill Clinton Model 617 Commemorative .22 LR.
This one fits a 6 year old child's hand especially well for upcoming anti-self-defense media deployment strategies.
4. The Al Gore Commemorative Sigma .40 S&W.
This gun is actually made of wood and includes a special "sash" holster for carrying into Buddhist temples.
5. The Hillary Clinton Commemorative Model 3906 in 9mm.
This model has a dime inlaid in each of the grips, which pop out in case the user feels a need to tip any single-mom waitresses.
6. The Vince Foster Model 36 Commemorative .38
"Chief's" Special with the "make it look like suicide barrel" that, when used to shoot someone in neck, makes it look like they placed the barrel in their mouth. This "suicide special" was especially made by S&W using 100% recycled parts salvaged from Spanish S&W knockoffs originally manufactured between 1900 and 1920. Thus it is also "Earth friendly" and comes with an official US Department of Energy green "Energy Star" sticker.
I guess they've got to do something...
Smith & Wesson Commemorative Guns
Presented by Charles Heller
I'm sure that by now Smith & Wesson has realized that it has committed a serious faux paux with the gun owners of America, and will have to rely on government contracts to avoid bankruptcy. I'm sure that the brilliant minds at Smith & Wesson are thinking of ways to increase sales to federal agencies. Perhaps they've considered the commissioning of new commemorative firearms. Some possibilities include:
1. The Lon Horiuchi Model 629 Commemorative .44 magnum.
This one comes with a scope with a range-finding feature: when a woman holding a baby just fills the two horizontal stadia wires in the scope, you know your target is precisely 100 yards away.
2. The Janet Reno Model 625 Commemorative .45 ACP.
This model includes a "Bill of Rights" test target. The unfluted cylinder is engraved with scenes showing the burning Branch Davidian "compound" and the siege at Ruby Ridge.
3. The Bill Clinton Model 617 Commemorative .22 LR.
This one fits a 6 year old child's hand especially well for upcoming anti-self-defense media deployment strategies.
4. The Al Gore Commemorative Sigma .40 S&W.
This gun is actually made of wood and includes a special "sash" holster for carrying into Buddhist temples.
5. The Hillary Clinton Commemorative Model 3906 in 9mm.
This model has a dime inlaid in each of the grips, which pop out in case the user feels a need to tip any single-mom waitresses.
6. The Vince Foster Model 36 Commemorative .38
"Chief's" Special with the "make it look like suicide barrel" that, when used to shoot someone in neck, makes it look like they placed the barrel in their mouth. This "suicide special" was especially made by S&W using 100% recycled parts salvaged from Spanish S&W knockoffs originally manufactured between 1900 and 1920. Thus it is also "Earth friendly" and comes with an official US Department of Energy green "Energy Star" sticker.
