Need help teaching a boy about firearms

[Charles Johnson]

I need some advice on how to teach my little 8 year old brother in law about firearms and some critiquing about my current approach.

This is the situation. My wife's mother, brother (Marc), and sister are living with us until the mother can get back on her feet and support her family (recently divorced - no job experience). The father does pay child support but it doesn't seem to be enough. This has given me a first hand view of the boy's behavior. Basically, he acts like a big baby mama's boy. He definitely needs some male influence and tough love. Whenever he doesn't get his way, he throws these little tantrums and starts crying and screaming (sometimes screeching). I believe in the 'Spare the rod, spoil the child' philosophy, but Marc's mother won't let anyone else physically punish Marc. I'm walking a tight rope here because the mother, if she feels I'm encroaching or criticizing her, will move back to the crappy place they came from (public housing). Her pride and laziness rule her actions. This would totally disrupt both kids' lives (another school change, bad environment, no male influence, etc).

I have already started teaching Marc about gun safety. I am so strict that I even make sure he keeps his fingers off the trigger of a fully disassembled handgun. I've rented .22 pistols and he does pretty well with them, although even the .22 recoil seems a bit much for him. After the first range session, he couldn't stop talking about it. He was showing his targets to everyone he could. I've even let him shoot my AR-15. As long as I help him get it set up on a rest, and watch him like a hawk, he does fine with the AR-15.

What I've done to try to get him to behave better is give him an incentive. I've told him that if he behaves well, I'll get him a .22 rifle at the end of this month. Of course I'll keep it locked up - he will have NO free access to this rifle. I've also told him that each time he misbehaves , I'll delay getting the rifle by a time proportional to the seriousness of his behavior. And he will have to continue to behave well or I will take it away from him. By the way, I'm also getting him into little league and boy scouts or royal rangers.

Is this a good idea? One thing I'm really worried about is teaching him how to use firearms without having time to
get the personal responsibility ideas across. For anyone that has taught kids about firearms, do you have any other ideas?

 

[BigG]

I'd let her move back...

she sounds like an idiot. I would hold off on the gun because once the mother gets on her feet (fat chance) he (and the weapon) will be out of your control. Or are you going to keep the weapon if they leave? Sounds like where she came from is a real breeding ground for slugs. I know this was probably not the best advice but I hope you find a way to work it out. Getting a person (the mother) to take personal responsibility is just not possible without an act of God.

 

[Charles Johnson]

I would definitely keep the weapon. He won't get it for a number of years. By the time I would let him have it, it would probably be to small for him. I will probably get a youth sized rifle - he is not a very big boy.

And yes she is an idiot. I'm trying to help both kids despite her. My wife is the oldest and the only one that turned out alright. The 2nd oldest is pure trailer trash. The 3rd kid (the sister that is living with us) is currently on her 3rd trip through the 6th grade. I'm hoping to help the boy before it is too late.

 

[Oleg Volk]

Owning a gun requires responsibility for own actions at ALL times. Explain that to the kid. A temper tantrum is a clear indication that he isn't in control of his own behavior. I'd hold him accountable for his own actions by tying rewards to mature behavior (same way you'd do with your own kis and with adults). Seems to me your approach is correct. I, personally, would forgo physical punishment since you know how to apply less direct but equally effective methods.