My young wife home alone...

[Cycrops]

Back in November I read an article which made me realize that my wife and I need to be more prepared to protect ourselves and our new twin babies. My wife is young and pretty, which makes me worry about about her becoming the target of violence.

I had an instance not long before I read that article where a shady guy showed up at the house with a pizza box in the evening and rang the bell. The instant I answered the door, he said "You didn't order a pizza?" then turned around and left. Maybe the puzzled look on my face as I answered the door tipped him off that he was at the wrong house, or maybe he was casing the neighborhood.

Anyway, I decided to purchase a HD/range handgun, which I'll be picking up next week. I already own a 22 rifle, but decided it's not ideal for HD. My wife has no firearms experience.

After reading the article linked above, I had a talk with my wife where I instructed her to NEVER open the front door for a stranger, especially when she is home alone with the babies during the day.

Today she called me at work and said the bell had rung, but she decided to ignore it because of our conversation. The bell rang again, and then there was a loud banging at the front door. She went to the door and saw a neighborhood teenager, big kid, acts a bit odd, who was going around shoveling driveways. She tried to tell him to go away from behind the door, but ended up opening the door to talk to him and send him on his way.

Two questions:
1. Due to the babies, I doubt my wife will have an opportunity to fire the Beretta for a couple of months. In the meantime, should I show her how to use it in case something happens, or assume that she'll likely do more harm than good if she goes for the gun in a bad situation?

2. How do I train her to not open the door? She knows in principle that she shouldn't, but she has a people-pleasing streak and appears to have a hard time being rude to a stranger at the door by not opening it. Any ideas about how to cope with this?

 

[jimbob86]

Due to the babies, I doubt my wife will have an opportunity to fire the Beretta for a couple of months.

No reliable babysitters there? No extended family? You mean she never gets a break from the kids?

Dude.

A couple hours off is not too much to ask.

 

[Young.Gun.612]

Heavy duty chain on the door. She can open it and see people with less of a risk, also holding whatever pistol you may have out of sight of the person outside.

 

[Cycrops]

"No reliable babysitters there? No extended family? You mean she never gets a break from the kids?

Dude.

A couple hours off is not too much to ask."

Long story, but we don't have anyone local at the moment who we can trust with infant twins for hours at a time. The wife does get breaks from mom duty, but we don't get breaks together unless my out-of-state family is around, which won't happen again for a couple months.

That said, it may be worth the effort to find a solution that can get her to the range with me sooner than later.

 

[C0untZer0]

Your wife's opinions about all this seems to be conspicously absent from your plans.

 

[Buzzcook]

Invest in strong doors and locks.

Ask neighbors and co-workers about trustworthy baby sitters. If you attend church you might ask there as well.

You can and should explain the basic operation of the gun to your wife. Use snap caps etc. Of course you should also teach the basics of firearm safety.

 

[Cycrops]

How do you quote posts? I don't see a quote button.

"Your wife's opinions about all this seems to be conspicously absent from your plans. "

My wife wants access to the Beretta, I'm looking for opinions about whether that's wise until she's at least fired it at the range (or even if a few range sessions are enough).

She agrees that it's unsafe to open the door, but can't seem to help herself when she's in the moment. I'm looking for "here's what she should do when a stranger bangs on the door" types of ideas that I can relay to her.

My apologies if it doesn't seem like she and I are partners in this, I'm just the one taking the lead on the issue (and posting the thread on the forum).

 

[kraigwy]

You need to address your concerns to PAX.

If it was me, I'd take a week or so vacation time, stay home with the babies and send wife to PAX.

I'm a firearms instructor, been one since the mid 70s, I got three girls that I care about, so I'm trying work a deal to have her work with my girls this summer.

She deals with ladies and know their problems and how to get to them.

 

[farmerboy]

[No message]

 

[BarryLee]

Consider a monitored alarm system. They can be set for different modes and one mode allows you to be home, but still have the perimeter monitored. One option offered by many alarm companies is video, so she can see what is going on outside without opening the door. Anything else that you can do to make the house less of a target would also help like lighting, landscaping, locks, doors etc. Remember you want to “harden the target” so the bad guys will go somewhere else.

 

[C0untZer0]

"stranger bangs on the door" types of ideas is a larger issue than firearms training.

You've got a lot of other components that wrap around that, and maybe look at "low hanging fruit" or simple components to the overall solution before tackling firearms training:

1) A quality locking storm door with some visibilty that also allows the inhabitant to talk to someone outside without completely opening a passage into your house

2) An intercom system w/video

3) A chain on a quality security front door

4) A large dog - especially gaurd dog type breeds

5) Electronic alarm and alerting system

The issue of getting trained with a handgun is on the list somewhere but it doesn't prevent or preclude these other things from being addressed. And since you and your wife seem to have some fairly significant obstacles to her getting training right now, I wouldn't take an all or nothing approach to it and do nothing until she can get trained. There are other things that can be done as early as this weekend.


.

 

[trex1310]

Buy a couple of rubber door stops. Put the stops at the front
and back doors. When your wife goes to the door teach her
to put the door stop about 8" from the door. No amount of
pushing will dislodge the stop. This isn't foolproof, but better
than a chain and will buy precious time. If an intruder reaches
in to try and dislodge the stop, a baseball bat to the elbow
will do wonders to discourage it.

 

[JerryM]

On my outside doors I have metal security doors. They were not expensive at Lowe's. You can see out, but not in. They open out so that they cannot be forced in. Day or night they provide a great deal of security.
Jerry

 

[Cycrops]

I like the locking storm door concept a lot. Allows her to answer the door without the guy being able to simply push his way into the house. We need a storm door anyway, so that's something I'll look into.

 

[irish52084]

My wife and I had similar issues. I had a lot of firearms experience, but she had very little. We made time to get her familiar and comfortable with the operation and firing of our guns. She shoots every so often and is capable with a pistol. There's no reason not to sit down and let her get comfortable with how the Beretta operates and feels. Get some snap caps and let her dry fire a bunch until you can get her some training and range time.

 

[HALLAUSTIN]

[No message]

 

[markj]

The count nailed it. The chain lock tho should use long screws, them little ones can be tore out of a door frame easily. A metal frame is better yet.

 

[manta49]

How dangerous is the area you live in ?. Take sensible precautions but do you want your wife to be scared of going to the door.

(How do I train her to not open the door.)

Are you sure you dont mean how do i show my wife its not a good idea to go to the door .

A security camera at the door would be a good idea then she could check it before going to door.

 

[AndersonG22]

I wouldn't trust a door with a chain, if it fails shes dead.

Have her go to a window near the door and talk to people outside that way. Or have her answer the door with a knife at least 1' long and (edited, explicit content) stomach then (edited, explicit content).

I think a knife at least 1' or more would be your best option, you may want to go longer in case the intruder is overweight.

 

[MLeake]

You think an untrained person with a knife will be more effective than an untrained person with a Beretta?

Or you think it's easier to train a person to safely and effectively use a knife than a Beretta?

Either way, I disagree (and I have trained with knives and Berettas...)