3, that is a different phenomenon. You don't actually lose control, your perception of time changes. There is a name for it, but I don't know how to spell it. That is the same thing that happens when you shoot a string that seems excruxiatingly slow or deliberate, yet when you look at the timer, it is incredibly fast. In fact, I would submit that it is the opposite of losing control. Your senses and perception increase to a level where time actually compresses and your vision hones in on the object of your concentration. Sort of a hyperawareness.
Hardball, I have been involved in a few incidents and in none of them did I lose any motor skills. Not only that, but I can tell you of several of my friends who have the same experience. While for you, this will indeed be true, if for no other reason than that you believe it is so.
It all boils down to training. Mental training is the key. As mentioned in previous posts, you should train your mind for those situations. Visualize different situations in vivid detail, smells, feelings, sounds, sights, everything. Visualize how you react, see yourself moving smoothly, calmly and confidently. Visualize what you say, and everything you do. Your mind does not know the difference between what you visualize and what happens. You need to remove your concious mind from the equation.
I have know several people including some old time gunfighters who say the same thing. Even Cooper said it. He is also the one who told me that it is normal to feel elated when you best your opponent in an armed confrontation. Yet, the "accepted" social norm is that you will feel guilt, remorse, sadness, depression, PTSD and all sorts of other afflictions. That is hogwash. We are conditioned through our mechanisms of socialization to feel that way. Once you realize that, you are no longer bound by that convention. The main reason people don't know how to feel is because they have never been there and never even thought about it. I am always amazed at how many people carry a firearm (either as a profession or a hobby) and have never even thought about killing someone. It is imperative that anyone who may find themselves in harm's way think about it in advance. You cannot afford to hesitate when the time to shoot comes. It can cost you your life.
In the same way, if you believe you are going to fall apart and lose fine motor skills under stress, you create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Believe in yourself, believe in your mind.