I'm so angry I could ....

[Petre]

Words cannot express my anger right now at our ridiculously *****fied system.

As if on cue ... from the other thread closed now about how the times have changed ....

My 13 year old daughter , I just had to pick up from the Police Dept.

13 years old , not 75lbs , they cuffed her and took her out of school in the back of a police car.

What did she do you say ?

A girl twice her size , a known problem in school who was already in trouble earlier that day attacked her claiming she was saying things behind her back to other kids. She pushed my daughter and then proceeded to pull her hair , I was told by the apologetic officer that the girl is "a big girl" ... my daughter is not , but knew she'd better defend herself or she'd be picked on for the rest of the year (Something my wife and I have instilled in all our children to always defend yourself) The girl wou ld not back off until a teacher found them fighting and intervened.

Not only did she get taken to the police station , she was also fingerprinted and photographed like a criminal.

I'm furious ....

My daughter is an honor roll student who's NEVER been in trouble attacked by a career trouble maker. I picked her up crying from the police station.

If I can ... I gonna sue the **** outta somebody.

I went directly to a neighbors home who is an officer at the dept she was taken to. He said he had taken over and handled the situation with my daughter and would go to court on her behalf as a witness to our exemplary conduct as neighbors . He also , as a friend said in his opinion , that we're becoming *****fied and he'd have his son do the same as my daughter did.

But I must ask MY GOD what the hell has happened to this country ?

WHAT IS NEXT .... Rape victims get charged for kicking their attackers in the nuts ?

EVERY OFFICER I DEALT WITH was apologetic and could see my girl was a victim who defended herself ... they all passed off the action to the Capt who is "By the Book strict"

I say burn that frickin book before we become a country of idiots.

My rant is over ... my ordeal has just begun. I now have to go to court to defend my little girl from unjust charges and then fight to get her record , finger prints and photos expunged.

As I said before .... Kids can no longer be Kids and if the powers above are teaching this BS down the chain of command .... somebody needs to grow a pair and buck the F'n system.



I have to ask the officers here ... what the heck is going on ... not ONE wanted to charge my daughter .... ONE is going to go to court on her behalf ... WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON ?!?

 

[marlboroman84]

Political correctness is killing this country. To much protect the criminal, prosecute the victim mindsets out there.

Sorry to hear about your ordeal. Hope it all works out for you.

 

[Petre]

I'm so upset I feel like bangin my head against a wall .

Your right ... we've become Politically correct and insanely paranoid.

The officer that brought my daughter to me brought me to a private room to talk to me and stated he didn't agree with what was happening to my daughter.

I want to know who makes these idiotic rules that all feel compelled to follow ?

Have we lossed all common sense and any kind of reasonable judgement ?

 

[Waitone]

Attorneys have a remarkably calming effect. Go see one.

 

[Petre]

Already called my lawyer .... I can feel the blood leaving my veins as we "speak" ... but what other recourse do I have?

 

[ATW525]

I have to agree with the advice of talking to an attorney.

Also be sure your daughter knows that you believe she did the right thing, regardless of what some high ranking idiot with a badge thinks.

 

[jcoiii]

Don't leave out the teachers and administrators of the school. As a campus police officer, let me say that if a situation like the one above occured on my watch, teachers would freak out and not understand that one person was the bad guy and one was just defending themselves.

I will say that it is possible that the arresting officer had no clue about the other girl's prior behaviors and simply took both of them into custody until things could be figured out. I do agree that the booking/printing is extreme. Oh, one other small point that might take a slight edge off the anger (only slight) is that anyone who rides in the back of a police car is generally cuffed. Not always necessary, but probably standard procedure nonetheless.

 

[Petre]

I have to agree with the advice of talking to an attorney.

Also be sure your daughter knows that you believe she did the right thing, regardless of what some high ranking idiot with a badge thinks.

Thank you ATW525 ... I spent the ride home convincing that to my daughter while she cried and worried I'd be mad at her.

 

[Petre]

jcoiii ... thanks for the suggestion and comments ...

To the officers credit , My daughter said he cuffed her as loosely as he could (though she said it hurt ... she's tiny) And she said he apologized to her , saying it was what he had to do.

I just can't understand this kind of thinking.

I would never let anything take precedent over my conscience.

 

[tony pasley]

Get a copy of the Parents Bill of Rights, Sue the school for failing to provide a safe learning enviroment for your child, use the Parents Bill of Rights to protect your child against the business of education.

 

[Pointer]

Attorneys...assuming you have told us the wjole accurate story...
Go see an attorney who will sue the department for arresting the victim.
Find out why the Arresting Officer arrested the victim... was he ordered to? Then sue the one who ordered him to make the victim pay for defending herself...

And sue the school system and Teacher and Principle and Superintendent, for having the OBVIOUS victim arrested... with the assailant...
AND force them to prove that your daughter deserved to be arrested and make the school board prove your daughter had any guilt in the matter...

They will say they had to be fair and apply an even-handed pressure to both suspected kids... as if they couldn't see who was the assailant by physical size alone...

How about witnesses? Did anyone see the assailant start the attack?

They will almost certainly settle out of court... they'd be fools to push it into the publicity lime light...

The police report should make for interesting reading...

 

[jcoiii]

Yeah, cuffs are not comfortable. We train with them and obviously put them on softly and they still hurt.

Fortunately, if I could determine who the agressor was, I can just arrest them. I don't have to arrest the victim. Benefits of a good chief and outstanding administrators

 

[Redworm]

ugh, unbelievable. I truly hope this situation doesn't allow this situation to make her hesitate in the future if she ever - god forbid - has to defend herself again. you're a good father for telling her she did the right thing

best wishes to you and her, don't let them treat a victim like a criminal!

 

[JJB2]

It's A Frightening World We Live In

an getting worse every day!!! good for you for telling her to defend herself.. i told both my boys to do that through their school years and i wouldn't change it.... but things are really getting screwed up in america....

 

[Rangefinder]

+1 on the attorney suggestion... Sound's like your daughter has some of her college fund thanks of the school district.

 

[mvpel]

Having been on the receiving end of bullies in my younger days, I can't even begin to tell you how pissed off I am. I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised if they had patted the aggressor on the head and gave her a lollipop while arresting the victim.

This attitude that many people hold that somehow violent assault is just a normal part of the school experience is infuriating. If some of the people I'd had to deal with in school did what they did anywhere other than a school, they'd be spending five years making large rocks into gravel. Instead it's just a big pile of platitudes and BS.

One time I managed to piss off an oversized, dumb-ass ninth-grader when I was 15, by saying "Come on, leave me alone," which he interpreted as "COME ON M-F!!"

I awoke on the floor an unknown period of time later, with the crowd of students coming in from the busses having vanished without a single word, and I managed to crawl into the career resource center to get the attention of a very shocked librarian.

Petre, tell your daughter "RIGHT ON!!!" and that I'm proud of her for defending herself.

 

[costabile4601]

The Costabile's agree also...

As the dad of a boy who is 2/3 the size of every other kid in his 4th grade class I was really shocked to read your post.

We had a small bullying problem last year and - at the time - my son and I had a discussion to lay the ground rules:

1. "You NEVER physically or verbally abuse someone."
2. "You NEVER let someone get away with physically or verbally abusing you. If you can you should always get a RESPONSIBLE adult involved ASAP. But if that is not possible, and you feel that the situation has become critical enough that it is necessary to strike another person - DO IT! Defend yourself, defend others who need help."

I think it's vitally important - at the youngest age possible - to make children aware that they may have to make a 'split second' decision and (most important) that you will be there to support them if they acted in good faith.

Your post prompted me to have this discussion with the kids again. Thanks for relating your story....

 

[C Philip]

I got angry just reading about this, I can't imagine how you feel. I agree with the other posts, make sure your daughter knows defending herself is ok. I'd hate to hear that if she was bullied again she didn't stand up for herself for fear of being arrested another time. I'd get a good lawyer and sue for undue distress and psychological stress and a whole bunch of other things! Maybe you should get the school to host a speaker about self defense and how to stand up for yourself or something along those lines, perhaps one of the police officers you know who could talk to the kids at the school.

 

[jfrey123]

I'm sorry to play devils advocate here, but look at the situation from an eye witness standpoint...

Two girls were fighting: It doesn't matter who is bigger or not, the officers on scene obviously didn't know who started it. I sure hope if some one half my size starts try to beat on me that they don't arrest only me cause I'm bigger. If she knew she was defending herself, then she should've know that she would be just fine when everything got straightened out.

They had procedure to follow: There was outrage over a case a few years back where an officer arrested an 80 year old woman on an outstanding warrant for failure to appear for traffic violations. He handcuffed her, because PROCEDURE says to handcuff all criminals arrested on outstanding warrants. He ended up losing his job over it. The officers in your case sound like they followed procedure. Damn them to hell for doing their job.


I'm not saying she shouldn't defend herself. I was brought up the same way: If someone hits me then I better be swingin back until they're down or authorities interupt it. Unfortunatly, in our society, everything can't be cut and dry. In every case were I defended myself, I went to the principal's office, and often times was suspended. To keep our schools safe, fighting is completely prohibited, and your daughter got caught up in the system.

Everyone says lawsuits against McDonalds over spilled hot coffee are stupid, but it's lawsuits like the one being discussed here that open the door for those fast food suits. I'm sorry, my friend, but your daughter was involved in a crime. She was detained until her motives were justified and then she was released. Let it go.

 

[pax]

"*****fied." *****fied! Of all the words you could have used to describe these people...!!

Sir, as you love your daughter, please don't use that word to describe these fools. The folks who treated her badly were bullies, moral cowards, idiots, morons, badge-heavy, incapable of thinking for themselves -- take your pick of the above, or create your own. Use your imagination, but don't use that word.

Think of it this way:

What does "*****fied" mean? It means the man you are describing is acting like a "*****" -- a nasty, vulgar term for a female and her sexual organs. He's not a real man; he's just a *****. He's acting like a female.

When you use the word "*****fied" to describe moral cowards, what you tell your daughter is that women don't fight back. A real man would fight back. *****es just lie back and enjoy it. When you say a man is *****fied, you say he's acting the way you expect a woman to act.

Is that really the message you want to send to your daughter?

pax