I was just polled - make of it what you will

[labgrade]

Shocked into (almost) untypableness (a new word! )

An actual account of what just really happned - can hardly believe it myself ..... I've absolutely no clue as to what these people were trying to find out ..... baffled, I am.
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I’ve just been polled just now & have to share the experience.

Actually, I have no idea who polled me, for what reason or what was their expected result/s - as the following demonstrates.

Poller: "Would you answer some questions?"

Me: "Sure, why not - sounds like fun. What’s the topic?" (hoping for a gun-control survey)

Poller: "When you go outside, do you wear a hat?"

Me: "Sure. When it’s hot, I wear a wide-brim that protects me from the sun. When it’s cold, I wear a different type that protects me from the cold - different cold determines different type hat/different cold = different hat. Why are you asking these questions? What is it that you want to know? Who are you polling for? & for what reason?"

Poller: "I really don’t know. Do you use sunscreen?"

Me: "Sometimes. Why?"

Poller: "I don’t know."

Poller: "Do you use an umbrella?"

Me: "No. I use Gore-Tex because it really protects me against the elements. Umbrellas suck. Why? What are you trying to find out? Who are you polling for & why?"

Poller: "I don’t know. Goes into dietary requirements, etc."

Me: "Yes, we eat healthy? Why?"

Poller: "I don’t know. Do you wear gloves or mittens if it’s cold?"

Me: "Depends on how cold. We do winter backpacking in Colorado & the temps vary. 3X different gloves - depending upon the weather & if it’s really cold 2X different types of mittens - same as the hat question. Why?"

Poller: "I don’t know."

Me: "OK. Give me your supervisor - this is fun." (idiot!)

Supervisor 1: "HI & no, I don’t have a clue."

Me: "OK - this is fun & I want to know what you guys are trying (hardly) to find out. Your questions suck & couldn’t possibly be used for anything real."

Supervisor 1: "OK, why?"

Me: "Why what?"

Supervisor 1: "Huh?"

Me: "Give me to one who has any clue as to what you people are trying to find out. Why are you polling anybody & what do you hope to find out?"

Supervisor 1: "Huh?"

Me: "Give me a supervisor who has any clue as to what you are attempting to determine through your polling data."

Supervisor 1: "OK, hold, please."

Supervisor 2: "Hi"

Me: "Hi. What the hell are you people trying to figure out with this poll?"

Supervisor 2: "What poll?"

Me: "!!!!! Some guy from PA called me asking really stupid questions about what gloves, hats, vitamins, umbrellas I might use, etc. They were all stupid to the utmost & what the hell do any of you expect to learn from these most stupid questions?"

Supervisor 2: "Huh? What?"

Me: " ……… I have been asked the most rediculous questions about wearing hats, using umbrellas, eating vitamins, etc. …. No-one could answer these questions seriously unless they were absolutely stupid from the get-go …. They are all stupid & you will receive no information from any answers unless qualified by, at the least, multiple choices …. Who do you work for & what are you attempting to find out through the poll?"

Supervisor 2: "huh? OK, uhm …. I don’t know …. why?"

Me: "Well, because for $10K, I’ll actually put together a marketing survey that will tailor your questions to something that will actually give pertinent answers. You game?"

Supervisor 2: "Huh? Uhm, no! …. "

Me (in the interest of brevity): "Who do you work for ? What information does your client hope to get out of these stupid questions? Do you have any idea what you’re doing? Ad nauseum, et al, et ilk, et puke … = retch (obvious literary license ….)

Supervisor 2: "Thank you for your time …. Blah, blah … bye."

These idiots wanted income info, age grouping, "are you a = race = ad stupidium ….. I told ‘em of course, I’m a Native American = I was born here - you’d call me a "white" ‘cause I’m not an "indian" …. I could throw up! But it is absolutely too F’ing funny - in a very sad way ……

The Supe #2 finally hung up because he didn’t know what else to do ….

I still haven’t a clue what they were polling about & suspect that neither did they.

 

[Gunslinger]

Labgrade that hurt! I haven't laughed this hard in "I don't know how long". My sides actualy hurt.
From that one misguided phone call you have an entire routine worthy of being taken on the road.

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Gunslinger

We live in a time in which attitudes and deeds once respected as courageous and honorable are now scorned as being antiquated and subversive.

 

[Hal]

A lot of these "polls" seem meaningless, but the very fact that you were there at a certain time to answer the phone is usefull information to someone. A lot of telemarketing firms pay for lists of contacts, and these "polls" seem to be a method used to extract information for them. On a darker side, a lot of telemarketing firms employ prisoners to do the calling. I don't want to be profiled by either, and let the answering machine answer all calls. The telemarketers want information about you so they can sell you something. If you aren't there to answer the phone, at a certain time of day, they have zero shot at you. Other interested eyes(or ears) can note the same things for different reasons. Even a busy signal can tell them something if it happens on a regular basis.

Sad to say, but I have a pretty childlike approach to phone calls in this day of information and privacy pilferage. I seldom talk to strangers.

 

[David Scott]

I learned a bit about constructing polls in the process of getting my MBA. They will usually ask more questions than they need. The first few will be simple, easy and inoffensive to get you in a question-answering mood for the worse ones later. Other questions will be slipped in to make sure you don't know what they really want, because a lot of people will give them false answers once they figure out the agenda.

You owe these people nothing. Do NOT answer even the first question. The only proper answer to these people is, "Under the provisions of the Federal Consumer Protection Act, as amended, you are instructed to place my name and number on your 'Do Not Call' list." If they call again within ten years, they owe you $500. Just the fact that you know this will keep them from calling back; I read an newspaper article about a guy who used a computerized caller-ID log and actually went after the ones who called back. He's up to about $6000 collected from telemarketers so far.


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Dave
Deep in the Florida Swamps

 

[Paul Revere]

labgrade...

Since my number is unlisted, when I receive a solicitation or request for survey call, I respond as follows...

Them: "May we speak to the head of the household?"

Me: "How did you get this number?"

Them: "These calls are made randomly."

Me: "This is an unlisted number." [Click]

They never call back. Ever.

 

[mk86fcc]

In conjunction with our caller ID (if it says "Unknown Name/Number" we don't answer) our answering machine has the following message:

"You have reached XXX-XXXX. If you are a telemarketer, consider this notice to remove this household from your calling list. If you're not a telemarketer, leave a message after the beep."

It could be my imagination, but I'd swear the calls have decreased dramatically over the last year. I've noticed lately some of them come up as "Private Name/Number" which is typical of an unlisted number, so guess what, they get to listen to the machine, too, now.

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"...and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one."
Luke 22:36
"An armed society is a polite society."
Robert Heinlein

 

[Gunslinger]

The "Telephone Consumer Protection Act" enacted in 1995 is the specific law protecting us from telephone solicitors that Scott mentioned.
I don't find it childish at all for one to not want to speak to a stranger on the phone. I have my phone listed in an alias. If I asnwer and the person on the other end says in a cheery voice Mr. X, I immediately know that they obtained my number from the phone book. My response is then "What the hell are you selling?". When they begin defending themselves I then inform them of the Telephone Consumer Protection Act and tell them to place me on their no call back list and that I do record and keep the numbers of those that telphone solicit me because I like free money simply for answering the phone.
For years the announcment on my machine has been: "All calls to this number are screened. The phone will not be answered until the caller has identified themselves. If no one is available to answer the phone please leave your name and number and we will call you back." Hostile perhaps but it eliminates solicitors.
On the other hand regarding phone pollsters. Someone must be making gun control telephone polls for as many as the media sight. We all know that they will slant anything to make it fit into their agenda. But it certainly would not hurt for them to hear from a few pro gun owners as well. For the most part gun owners value our privacy nearly as much as we value our freedom. We, therefore, have a natural tendency to dismiss polltsers before even determining what it is they are polling for. Look at Labgrades original post. He states he was hoping it was a poll about gun ownership. This isn't to critisize. I am probably the most guilty here of telling the person on the other end to bite me! But bear in mind we may be missing an opportunity to contribute our stand on gun control when we receive a call from a pollster.


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Gunslinger

We live in a time in which attitudes and deeds once respected as courageous and honorable are now scorned as being antiquated and subversive.

 

[Sciri]

Regarding answering machines - computerized telemarketing systems will hang up when they get an answering machine and call back later. To the one who mentioned their calls decreased, have the number of calls decreased or have the number of messages on your machine decreased.

Regarding "take me off your list" - Asking them to take you off their list only takes you off their CURRENT list. You will be on the next list they buy and they will call back. You must ask to be put on their do not call list.

/Sciri/

 

[Nukem]

You must like answering your phone much more than I do. Let them talk to the answering machine.

 

[mk86fcc]

Sciri - The actual number of calls have decreased. Particularly those annoying "suppertime" calls. But you're right, most of them hang up before the machine finishes its schpiel...

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"...and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one."
Luke 22:36
"An armed society is a polite society."
Robert Heinlein

[This message has been edited by mk86fcc (edited March 03, 2000).]

 

[Alan B]

If you ask to be put on their do not call list they have to tell you who they are, what their phone number is, who they are calling for, and what the supervisors name is. If they call you later for any reason they pay. My mother has a notebook full of these firms and money in the bank.

 

[John Overbey]

Here's a suggestion:

~~Ring~~

You: Hello?

Them: Hi, May I speak to the head of the household?

You: Now is a bad time... What time do you eat dinner?

Them: Huh?

You: Give me your home number and let me know when you're gonna eat, and I'll call you back.

Them: I'm sorry, I can't give out my number...

You: You mean you don't like being called at home by complete strangers?

Them: ~~Click~~

Voila. No mo' telemarketer.
-John

 

[chadintex]

Just tell them "Hi, I'm naked, what are you wearing" that should stop em.

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chadintex@hotmail.com

 

[Ben]

When those people call me & try to sell me something, I simply ask them if they want to buy any of the things I have for sale. It's kinda fun actually.

They don't bother to call later.

Ben

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AOL IM: BenK911
ICQ # 53788523
"Gun Control Is Being Able To Hit Your Target"

 

[Jeff White]

I once was interuppted at dinner by a telemarketer hired by the local phone company. She was selling caller ID. One of her selling points was that "You could use your caller ID to screen out annoying telemarketers!" I responded with "You mean calls like this one?" Silence on the other end of the line and I hung up

Jeff

 

[labgrade]

Our number is unlisted & we hardly get any calls from other than friends.

Wasn't any big deal to me at the time & sometimes I just like to goof with these guys.

In a way, sorry for the post (as zip to do with firearms) but couldn't resist sharing that.

 

[Correia]

Ok, now please don't kill me when I admit this...

I worked as a telemarketer one summer.

Oh man I'm sorry. It sucked, I needed the money. It was for an insurance company, and I asked if people wanted quotes on their auto insurance. I hated it, I hated it every day. I finally quit when I couldn't handle bothering people anymore. I lasted two months, and the only reason I lasted that long was because I had to earn enough to pay tuition.

We where paid straight commision, $1.50 per quote. I was by far the lowest paid person there. I just felt guilty bugging people. One girl I worked with made about $20 an hour because she would just kind of giggle and force her way into the quote. Me, I would feel guilty immediatly, apologize for bothering them, and leave them alone.

labgrade, I can tell you why the other two supervisors where clueless, usually when somebody asked to talk to our supervisor we would just pass the phone over to the guy sitting next to us. Usually just another clueless grunt.

I let my answering machine answer all of my calls, if it is somebody I know, then I pick up. Everybody who knows us knows to leave a message.

Please forgive me of this transgression, I have repented.

 

[jeffer]

Man this is a good post. Now I know what to say when they call.-----Do you wear a hat? Yes on both feet.-- Are you going to vote? Hey I voted last time and look what it got me into.--I'll call you back, are you anywhere near a phone?

 

[Russell]

If you know a foriegn language try talking to them in that, although spanish probably won't work as well as say German or French. What you say doesn't have to make sense, just confuse the hell out of them.

 

[larry_minn]

I did polling work while in school. Would travel to peoples homes and do the poll in their house. As was said start out with easy "dumb" questions so they will complete the poll. "throw good time after wasted time" I actually enjoy polls if I have time. Use a cordless and do other things around the house. Or if I am busy when they ask for head of household say "just a minute" and push the mute and lay the phone down. A little later "if you want" say "he is on the way, he just has to take off his boots and jacket." then mute again. Later hang up.