I shoot Winchester Whitebox Value Packs of 100 out of my Glocks for practice. It's dirty but very cheap.
For SD in 9mm, you've got plenty of options. Speer Gold Dots, Federal Hydrashocks, and Ranger SXTs to name a few in various weights, standard pressure and plus-P. I'm fond of the Hydrashocks, but buy a couple of boxes of different brands and have your wife shoot them to see if: #1) they work reliably in your gun, and #2) if she's comfortable with the recoil and can place shots quickly and accurately with it.