For crying out loud...

P

Pointer

New member
Just to make you smile...

AN ATHEIST HUNTER IN THE WOODS

An atheist was hunting bear.

"What majestic trees"!

"What powerful rivers"!

"What beautiful animals"!

He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 8-foot grizzly charging towards him. He dropped his rifle, and in full panic mode, he ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He quickly rolled over to pick himself up, but saw that the bear was right on top of him, raising his right paw to strike him dead.

At that instant the atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"


Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
"You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident."

"And now you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?

The atheist looked directly into the light,

"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian"?

"Very Well," said the voice.

The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
And the bear brought his paws together, bowed his head & prayed:


"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive...
Click to expand...
 
U

UniversalFrost

New member
good laugh.

Don't think this one will last very long beofre they close it.

Should carried his ruger alaskan or at least some bear spray.
 
A

Art Eatman

Staff in Memoriam
I don't thing the comments are needed, but the occasional bump, for a while, seems okay...

(Save the bandwidth.)

Art
 
G

Gbro

New member
Thank God for bears!

(not being a bear hunter i always tell others "Thank God For Bear Hunters")
 
O

oldbillthundercheif

Moderator
Stupid. They say there are no athiests in foxholes, but there has been at least one who found himself piloting a disintegrating aircraft without crying out for divine intervention...

Me.
 
J

Jseime

New member
Nice one. Personally I might not have dropped the gun. Maybe a Marlin lever action in .450 marlin would have been handy.
 
F

FirstFreedom

Moderator
My favorite hunting joke is....

Two ol' redneck boys were out hunting when a rattlesnake jumps up and bites one of the guys on his you-know-what. Screams out for his buddy to call the hospital on his cell phone. Buddy calls hospital & talks with a nurse. Nurse tells him that, to save his friend's life, he's gonna have to make small incisions at the bite holes and suck out the poison before bringing him in to the city for treatment. "OK, I understand", he says, and hangs up. Guy who got bit screams "What did they say, man?!?"

"They said you're gonna die." :)
 
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