Wild Romanian
Moderator
While driving in my automobile yesterday I heard a very shocking story about Gaston Glock from none other than Paul Hartley. As unbelievable as it sounds it is supposedly true. Paul said that he had received a letter from a man who worked at the Glock factory in Austria claiming that Gaston Glock never existed. In other words he was "The man that never Was". Sound unbelievable, then read on.
The man from Glock challenged Paul and his investigating team to come to Austria and investigate this for themselves before he would agree to reveal the true story of how the Glock pistol came to be and who really invented it. Paul being very rich and having not much to do anyway decided to investigate to see if this could possibly be true.
After arriving in Austria Paul was instructed to go to the great hall of records where all births in Austria are recorded. Much to his shock and surprise there is absolutely no record of anyone by the name of Gaston Glock ever being born there. Paul also visited the local TV stations and could find no record of any video tapes with Gaston Glock on them, only just factory representatives speaking in his behalf. Paul next contacted some of the really big arms merchants in Europe and asked them if they had ever met Gaston in person. Again the reply was in the negative. Later Paul and his group toured the Glock factory and in it they found no office door with Gaston's name on it nor any mahogany desk with his name plack on it. They asked some of the factory workers if they had ever seen Mr. Glock. The workers only nervously smiled and walked away.
Later that evening they had agreed to meet the mysterious man from the Glock factory. Strangely enough it took place in a beer hall, the same beer hall that many years ago had been the meeting place of an infamous short little man with a strange mustash who had once been an Austrian corporal during WWI. He had ended that riotist meeting by firing a pistol shot into the air. One soon had an erie feeling that this meeting too might just change history.
Finally at the appointed time the man from Glock arrived. There eyes meet and no introductions were necessary, everyone instantly new they were in the proper company. The man from Glock spoke quietly but confidently. It was as if it were a relief to him to finally rid himself of something that had been haunting him for an eternity. He explained that back a number of years ago some of the very rich arms merchants of Europe had decided to hire Europe's best arms designers to create a new modern pistol blending some of the old designs with some of today's polymer technology. After the prototype pistol was finished they were very reluctant to market it. They new that America and Europe were used to seeing successful inventions come from private individual inventors and not from groups of arms engineers and boards of directors who's creations in the past were often catastrophic marketing failures. What they new they had to do was create a mythical inventor. Someone like the famous arms designing genius of the past, namely John Browning. But what to call him and their new weapon. A great meeting was called and attended by the executives and all of the engineers. By what name would they call their mythical inventor. Whatever name they chose it must bring forth an instant image of their new pistol. The inventors name and the pistol were to be synonymous. One engineer suggested they call the pistol "The Higher Power". No, the head executive said, John Browning called his famous pistol "The High Power". Even the gullilble American's would not fall for that one. Besides John Brownings pistol was made of beautiful blued steel and had gracefull lines and style to it. Frankly our pistol has a very thick rectangular slide, a dull finish and a huge square plastic trigger guard and plastic frame. Our pistol looks very stark and harsh by contrast to Brownings. The name we choose to call our pistol should reflect the visual image of it. One enigineer suggested that at least the name be Austrian and that the man's first name should be Gaston. The executive asked why did you choose that name. The executive replyed that is the name of the TV repair man that ran off with my wife. A lot of laughter ensued. OK , Gaston will be his first name. What about his last? All of a sudden an enginneer swallowed a little to much Austrian ale and it went down his wrong pipe so to speak. He started chocking and coughing. The head executive said , what is that man trying to say, not realizing the man's dire condition. One of the engineers sitting near by said I think he is saying something like Gock or Glock. The head executive screamed thats it , thats it, we will call our new inventor Gaston Glock. That name really sticks in your throat and grabs you right between the legs. It brings up the perfect image of our new pistol. And so was born the most infamous modern day pistol and also the name of the new firearms genius, "The Man Who Never Was" Mr. Gaston Glock.
Usually Paul Hartley ends his story by saying "And now you know the rest of the story" but it does not exactly end here. I have a question for all of you. Does anyone think a man like the genius of John Browning who supposedly invented 180 firearms all in one lifetime really exist or was he too a creation of the gun industry. Naaaa, John Brownings story is so fantastic I would sooner believe Gaston Glock really existed. W.R.
The man from Glock challenged Paul and his investigating team to come to Austria and investigate this for themselves before he would agree to reveal the true story of how the Glock pistol came to be and who really invented it. Paul being very rich and having not much to do anyway decided to investigate to see if this could possibly be true.
After arriving in Austria Paul was instructed to go to the great hall of records where all births in Austria are recorded. Much to his shock and surprise there is absolutely no record of anyone by the name of Gaston Glock ever being born there. Paul also visited the local TV stations and could find no record of any video tapes with Gaston Glock on them, only just factory representatives speaking in his behalf. Paul next contacted some of the really big arms merchants in Europe and asked them if they had ever met Gaston in person. Again the reply was in the negative. Later Paul and his group toured the Glock factory and in it they found no office door with Gaston's name on it nor any mahogany desk with his name plack on it. They asked some of the factory workers if they had ever seen Mr. Glock. The workers only nervously smiled and walked away.
Later that evening they had agreed to meet the mysterious man from the Glock factory. Strangely enough it took place in a beer hall, the same beer hall that many years ago had been the meeting place of an infamous short little man with a strange mustash who had once been an Austrian corporal during WWI. He had ended that riotist meeting by firing a pistol shot into the air. One soon had an erie feeling that this meeting too might just change history.
Finally at the appointed time the man from Glock arrived. There eyes meet and no introductions were necessary, everyone instantly new they were in the proper company. The man from Glock spoke quietly but confidently. It was as if it were a relief to him to finally rid himself of something that had been haunting him for an eternity. He explained that back a number of years ago some of the very rich arms merchants of Europe had decided to hire Europe's best arms designers to create a new modern pistol blending some of the old designs with some of today's polymer technology. After the prototype pistol was finished they were very reluctant to market it. They new that America and Europe were used to seeing successful inventions come from private individual inventors and not from groups of arms engineers and boards of directors who's creations in the past were often catastrophic marketing failures. What they new they had to do was create a mythical inventor. Someone like the famous arms designing genius of the past, namely John Browning. But what to call him and their new weapon. A great meeting was called and attended by the executives and all of the engineers. By what name would they call their mythical inventor. Whatever name they chose it must bring forth an instant image of their new pistol. The inventors name and the pistol were to be synonymous. One engineer suggested they call the pistol "The Higher Power". No, the head executive said, John Browning called his famous pistol "The High Power". Even the gullilble American's would not fall for that one. Besides John Brownings pistol was made of beautiful blued steel and had gracefull lines and style to it. Frankly our pistol has a very thick rectangular slide, a dull finish and a huge square plastic trigger guard and plastic frame. Our pistol looks very stark and harsh by contrast to Brownings. The name we choose to call our pistol should reflect the visual image of it. One enigineer suggested that at least the name be Austrian and that the man's first name should be Gaston. The executive asked why did you choose that name. The executive replyed that is the name of the TV repair man that ran off with my wife. A lot of laughter ensued. OK , Gaston will be his first name. What about his last? All of a sudden an enginneer swallowed a little to much Austrian ale and it went down his wrong pipe so to speak. He started chocking and coughing. The head executive said , what is that man trying to say, not realizing the man's dire condition. One of the engineers sitting near by said I think he is saying something like Gock or Glock. The head executive screamed thats it , thats it, we will call our new inventor Gaston Glock. That name really sticks in your throat and grabs you right between the legs. It brings up the perfect image of our new pistol. And so was born the most infamous modern day pistol and also the name of the new firearms genius, "The Man Who Never Was" Mr. Gaston Glock.
Usually Paul Hartley ends his story by saying "And now you know the rest of the story" but it does not exactly end here. I have a question for all of you. Does anyone think a man like the genius of John Browning who supposedly invented 180 firearms all in one lifetime really exist or was he too a creation of the gun industry. Naaaa, John Brownings story is so fantastic I would sooner believe Gaston Glock really existed. W.R.
