There are 110 gr.JHPs standard pressure .38 Specials that would do well for defense and the 130 gr. made by Winchester are sedate movers. The military used to get stuck with FMJs for defense and that's what we had to qualify in the USAF if that's all they issued instead of a pistol. 130gr. Winchesters are what we had for ammo.
With the .32 H&R magnum there are 12 loads currently cataloged in the 2008 gun buyers magazines. 12 loads for the .32 S&W Long also. There's even several JHP loads.
Taurus makes current model 731 6 shot revolver for the .32 magnum.
As was said earlier there are Ruger SP101s and S&Ws used on the market.
The snubbies are specialist guns anyway. Harder to shoot then their larger brethren for many reasons.
More heft as in a heavier frame may help. Since recoil shy types need all the advantages to help them over come this more weight couldn't hurt. This way she could get here own revolver. Either a K frame size or even a 6 shooter the size of a Colt Detective Special and it's brethren.
Rossi makes the 461 and the 351. Taurus makes the 85 series or 851,651 series. S&W makes the model 60 or other heavier type revolvers.
So there's other choices. Ruger SP101 in .38 Special was hefty,accurate and dureable.
Last but not least are the .32 ACP and .380 caliber pistols if all else fails and the .22lrf pistols or revolvers are not considered adequate.
The female contingents may need exposure to NRA or local accredited basic courses that immerse them in a relaxed casual atmosphere. This can be one on one mentoring or a womens only style class. This exposes the gals to the various types of guns and safety rules in a secure and safe manner.
www.corneredcat.com and
www.womenandguns.com are excellent sources for the women and men to learn much about firearms,training, and other pertinent data.
Who knows? The female partner may be good with something along the line of a S&W 908/3913 9mm. pistol or a Kahr K9/Mk9 and join the ranks of the regular shooters. 9mm. in that size and type pistol shoot easier in most ways than with the snubbie.
I had to stand aside and let others teach the wife and daughter the basics of shooting. No tension, no worries, and no expectations or egos to bruise.
Techniques, practice, and experience can be learned to deal with recoil.Just have to go about it right.