This evening, I read a column called "Ask Amy", who appears to have inherited the space from the old "Dear Abby" column. Of course, I am aware of the slant of most newspaper columns, but I still like to read these.
Tonight, I was VERY perturbed and concerned about a reply she gave to one woman.
It seems that the woman and her 14 y.o. daughter entered their home to find a burg in progress. The 14 year old apparently pushed the burglar....
whereupon the mother RESTRAINED HER DAUGHTER and told the burglar to take anything he wanted.
The burglar then TIED THEM UP, AND GAGGED THEM . However, fortune smiled on them that day--the burglar left them alone, and her husband found them.
The woman is upset because her daughter is now angry with her and tells her that her (the adult's) lectures about strength and independence are hot air.
Moreover, the responding officers told the woman that she did the right thing! (Where's the smiley for projectile vomiting?)
The columnist wrote back, praising the woman for doing the "right thing". (Another moment to urp.)
Here's my reply:
____________________________________
Good evening!
I am writing this as a comment--and an observation--to a reply you wrote to a poster, that appeared in the Seattle Times on 2-15-2007. The post was concerning the actions that she took when she (and her 14 year old daughter) walked in on a burglary in progress in their home. You applauded her for restraining her daughter, and yielding to the burglar's demands.
Moreover, she comments that the police praised her for her actions.
I am sorry, but this advice is WRONG. And, for the victim, it can be DEAD wrong.
I know that statistics show one thing; I am speaking from cold, hard experience as a police officer who has responded to burglaries, assaults and other crimes against persons.
Any criminal who comes in contact with other people counts on fear to ensure compliance to their demands. The criminal seeks control and mastery over their victim. Criminals like compliant victims. They do NOT, however, like victims who fight back.
The woman allowed her daughter and herself to be tied up and placed in a totally defenseless posture. Congratulations--you are now at the mercy of the criminal. What if the criminal decides that he is angry at the intrusion, and needs to teach a lesson in subjugation? Remember, rape is not a crime of sexual fulfillment, but a crime of anger, control and subjugation.
And, there is a good chance that they walked in on a repeat offender--perhaps a two strike felon. Now, they're tied up and helpless. Well, here's the brass ring--whoever lives the longest gets to see the other killed first.
NEVER yield to a criminal!
How should they have handled it?
If they had space and just a bit of time, they should have both left the house--IMMEDIATELY! Better yet, they should have been in what is known as "Condition Yellow"--they might have heard the burglar as they entered the house, and had a chance to leave immediately.
If they have the misfortune of contacting the criminal, they can still leave if they have the time to do so. If they are in direct (arms' reach) contact, FIGHT. Claw, scratch, SCREAM, hit, kick, hurt! Create space--then get out of the house!
Once a criminal gains control and feels in control, the situation usually goes downhill, really fast. Criminals will not bother with someone who fights back--especially women!
ALWAYS be alert. ALWAYS have an exit strategy. ALWAYS be prepared to defend yourself and your loved ones--NEVER yield or surrender!
Feel free to use my real name, if you wish.
__________________________________________________________
Sometimes, the sheep are bleating so loudly that it makes my head hurt. What say you all?
Tonight, I was VERY perturbed and concerned about a reply she gave to one woman.
It seems that the woman and her 14 y.o. daughter entered their home to find a burg in progress. The 14 year old apparently pushed the burglar....
whereupon the mother RESTRAINED HER DAUGHTER and told the burglar to take anything he wanted.
The burglar then TIED THEM UP, AND GAGGED THEM . However, fortune smiled on them that day--the burglar left them alone, and her husband found them.
The woman is upset because her daughter is now angry with her and tells her that her (the adult's) lectures about strength and independence are hot air.
Moreover, the responding officers told the woman that she did the right thing! (Where's the smiley for projectile vomiting?)
The columnist wrote back, praising the woman for doing the "right thing". (Another moment to urp.)
Here's my reply:
____________________________________
Good evening!
I am writing this as a comment--and an observation--to a reply you wrote to a poster, that appeared in the Seattle Times on 2-15-2007. The post was concerning the actions that she took when she (and her 14 year old daughter) walked in on a burglary in progress in their home. You applauded her for restraining her daughter, and yielding to the burglar's demands.
Moreover, she comments that the police praised her for her actions.
I am sorry, but this advice is WRONG. And, for the victim, it can be DEAD wrong.
I know that statistics show one thing; I am speaking from cold, hard experience as a police officer who has responded to burglaries, assaults and other crimes against persons.
Any criminal who comes in contact with other people counts on fear to ensure compliance to their demands. The criminal seeks control and mastery over their victim. Criminals like compliant victims. They do NOT, however, like victims who fight back.
The woman allowed her daughter and herself to be tied up and placed in a totally defenseless posture. Congratulations--you are now at the mercy of the criminal. What if the criminal decides that he is angry at the intrusion, and needs to teach a lesson in subjugation? Remember, rape is not a crime of sexual fulfillment, but a crime of anger, control and subjugation.
And, there is a good chance that they walked in on a repeat offender--perhaps a two strike felon. Now, they're tied up and helpless. Well, here's the brass ring--whoever lives the longest gets to see the other killed first.
NEVER yield to a criminal!
How should they have handled it?
If they had space and just a bit of time, they should have both left the house--IMMEDIATELY! Better yet, they should have been in what is known as "Condition Yellow"--they might have heard the burglar as they entered the house, and had a chance to leave immediately.
If they have the misfortune of contacting the criminal, they can still leave if they have the time to do so. If they are in direct (arms' reach) contact, FIGHT. Claw, scratch, SCREAM, hit, kick, hurt! Create space--then get out of the house!
Once a criminal gains control and feels in control, the situation usually goes downhill, really fast. Criminals will not bother with someone who fights back--especially women!
ALWAYS be alert. ALWAYS have an exit strategy. ALWAYS be prepared to defend yourself and your loved ones--NEVER yield or surrender!
Feel free to use my real name, if you wish.
__________________________________________________________
Sometimes, the sheep are bleating so loudly that it makes my head hurt. What say you all?